Sunday, December 30, 2007

Domestic Bliss

I got a new vacuum for Christmas and just put it together. My brother and his wife had gotten a Bissell as a wedding gift and raved about it so my folks bought me one designed for pet hair. I just put it together and took it for a spin down the hallway, which I just vacuumed not too long ago. ('Not too long ago' in my lexicon is 'within the past three weeks'.)

You would NOT believe the pet hair and people hair this new vacuum sucked up. I know you think it's gross that I would even tell you, but seriously, isn't there something of a fascinating ick factor here? (After all, it is my hair, and the cat's hair, which is all significantly less gross to me than someone else's mess would be.) Anyway, this new vacuum propels itself - I was kind of afraid it might take off on me in a wild spree, a la the brooms in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice' - and it really almost does make vacuuming fun, as my SIL said it would.

I'm also seriously interested in what else will come up when I get the living room cleaned up and can take the Bissell for a spin there.

Ew. And yet....coooooolll...

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Darwinism at its Finest

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601103&sid=aDd0dqDLi8nM&refer=us

Let me let you in on a little secret. If you tease the tiger by climbing into its pen, and it finally retaliates and kills you, it's not the tiger's fault.

So don't blame the freakin' zoo, you idiot.

If you tempt nature, and it kicks your ass, I'm on nature's side 100%.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Halp! Said the snowflake

When I went to bed last night, there was a light covering of snow. When I got up this morning, there's almost a foot drifted on my balcony and several inches on the cars below in the parking lot. I am so glad I am not driving anywhere today. I am still in my pajamas.

I tried to go to my niece's birthday party yesterday; parts of my county were fine, but the further north I went the slipperier the highway was, until I finally bailed about 1/3 of the way into the trip (knowing I would either have to come back that night, and that didn't sound good, or come back the next day, when we were all buried in snow). I can give her her present at Christmas. But I still feel like a bad aunt.

But it was either that or struggle on the highway there and back or miss work Monday. And after I saw a truck rolled over on the other side of hte highway in the drifting snow, I decided to call it a day.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Another Gem

I know I've been a bit of a grump lately. There's just so much going on in my head, it's kind of full. I could explain it, but it wouldn't make much sense to you. Or it would sound silly. So...a little bit of joy.

I'm at home watching 'Mary Poppins', which I taped off ABC Family last night only to recall today that I actually have that movie on VHS. Oh well.

How can you not love this movie? The music is fantastic, the animation with live action was before its time and the leads are charismatic. Dick Van Dyke is actually kind of adorkable, and Juie Andrews is exquisitely lovely. Plus it's just fun. I could sing 'Chim Chim Cheree' all day.

Besides, how can you not love a musical that includes a line that goes, "Although we adore men individually, we agree that as a group, they're rather stuuuuuupid" ?? :-D

Sunday, December 09, 2007

One of Life's Little Niceties

Is there anything nicer than getting into a newly-made bed? Clean crisp sheets that still smell a little like fabric softener (which I happen to find very comforting and homey), blankets that haven 't yet been yanked this way and that - I get too warm and kick blankets off, then get too cold and yank blankets back on - pillows with fresh pillowcases. And a distinct lack of cat hair, which will be remedied in no time.

Just a little something worth appreciating.

Some Television Rambling

Most of you know I happen to like my TV on, and it's generally on regardless of what I'm doing. This morning while I was reading the paper and catching up on the circulars (I love to see what's for sale even if I have no intention of going shopping) I turned on CMT's 'Crossroads' because a couple of my friends raved about it, and I'm watching LeAnn Rimes and Joss Stone really tear it up. (Plus, it's nice that it's a show I can listen to instead of actually having to watch intently.) They both have such incredible voices, and while their musical styles are entirely different, they really mesh well together. I saw a video once of a song Martina McBride and Pat Benatar did, and I wish I'd seen that show.

Earlier today I caught up on last week's Men In Trees. Well, parts of it. I skip all of the parts except the ones with Pastor Eric in them. (X-Files fans will recognize my favorite villain in the role, and he's such a doll in this part I just get all gooey watching it. Really. Goo.) I want one just like that. Except for the celibacy part. Well, and I don't see myself actually dating a pastor. But you get my point. He's freakin' adorable.

I've been catching up, a little, on Battlestar Galactica - SciFi replayed some of S3 (my shorthand for Season Three) and it's been nice to watch one of those and get a little caught up on the storyline. (So they don't talk about the other five models of Cylon? Really?) It's a little tough to fill in the blanks between episodes; I'm reading synopses of the episodes they're not showing so I know what's going on. It's so intense, and I love hearing the dialogue - well-written dialogue just brings me to my knees, really - and seeing how the characters have been written - how they take even the smallest part and it's written so well you never feel short-changed on backstory or find yourself not buying what the show's selling. So yeah, I don't just watch TV, I really LOOK at it - how were the characters written? What's the language like? ('Firefly' is a great example of excellent language - meshing today's language with that of the old west and the future - man, is that well done.)

Plus I'm catching up on The 4400; Isabelle is wreaking havoc wherever she can to keep Shawn by her side and nobody but Tom is taking her threat seriously. And Tom's girlfriend just left to keep herself safe from prosecution. This show has the weirdest premise, yet it's all so seamless and it always feels real to me, even when it wanders off into something quite unreal.

And while all this is going on, I'm cleaning house, wrapping presents, reading the paper, doing dishes, writing Christmas cards, that kind of thing. Sometimes if I want to watch something AND get something done, I'll let a taped program run instead of fast-forwarding through commercials, and clean house during ads. Today I just downed a high-caffiene tea and I expect to get a lot done! This house is kind of a mess - I finished most of my Christmas shopping yesterday - and I'm ready to tackle some wrapping! Wahoo!

Maybe I should get out of my jammies first?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

A Case of Being Too Fussy?

Since this has been on my mind lately, I thought it would be fun, enlightening and maybe a little frightening to list what it is I'm looking for in my perfect guy. Then you can tell me I'm being too fussy. Everybody inevitably does.

He must be a non-smoker. That's non-negotiable. I hate the way it smells and tastes. And why kill yourself a step at a time?

He must be a non-hunter. Another non-negotiable. Killing for fun, not my idea of a good time. Better yet, he should be an animal lover. That's too much a part of who I am.

Another non-negotiable - He must have a job. Or be in school to get a good job, not just in school to avoid working. And have a vehicle. And a place to live that does not involve his parents. In short, he's independent. He does not in any way have to be rich - I'd rather that he wasn't, I would never survive in that world - but my ideal guy (yes, perfect scenario) would have some cash and manage his money well, just so that we're not struggling (I've done that already, thanks). It would even better if he knew more about money than I do. At the very least, he's not an idiot with his money and is getting by. And he's not cheap. He tips well, and enjoys his money. He saves some and spends some, he doesn't hoard it.

I'm not particularly fussy over whether he's blond or brunet or what. (I'm into the tall, dark, and handsome look these days - Pastor Eric or Samuel Anders on my telly - but that's not a hard and fast rule.) I like a really nice friendly smile, though. A nice guy face.

I'm not saying he's got to be movie-star handsome. That's intimidating. Sure, it'd be swell if he was kind of good-looking without being pretty or arrogant. But good looking comes in a lot of forms. Nice guys get better and better looking the more you get to know them, while jerks get uglier. It's a fact. But I'm honest enough to say if I don't find him at least a little attractive, uh, I'm not going there. Sorry, it is what it is.

He doesn't have to be a six-pack stud - that's an ideal I can't live up to. But he's got to take care of himself to some degree. I'm not perfect physically and I don't expect anybody else to be either - not that it wouldn't be nice (she says with a knowing grin) but I'm not getting involved with a slob who doesn't give a crap about what he looks like or if he's taking care of himself - and by that I mean, not sitting around 24-7, never exercising at all, or doing anything physical. I'm not 100 pounds, but nor am I getting involved with anybody who is obese. It's another way of killing yourself slowly.

On the other hand, he doesn't mind my sloppy Saturdays and I don't mind his, where we schlup around in comfy pants and watch movies.

The perfect guy is just tall enough that when he hugs me, I fit in under his chin. And he gives good hugs.

He's got a good sense of humor without being a joker or a nut. He in no way needs to be the center of attention, and he doesn't belittle me for entertainment or play practical jokes for laughs.

He's very patient, especially with me.

He's calm and together without being smug, and isn't afraid sometimes to admit that he's angry or scared or unsure. I know a guy to whom everything is a piece of cake. It comes off as though he's just that much smarter than the rest of us, and it's annoying. I want someone who is human. Who has flaws. But I don't want a guy with a hair-trigger temper. Nor do I want someone who is impulsive. Spontaneous yes, but that's different. I'm too much of a thinker, so he's got to balance me out somewhat, but if he just makes decisions without considering his options or thinking about his choices, mistakes get made.

He's honest. Duh.

He treats me really well. But he doesn't try to idealize me or put me on a pedestal that I can't live up to. I don't need to be spoiled. I need to be treated like he finds me special and appreciates me. One guy I dated would spoil me if it looked good. I don't think it had anything to do with me.

He'll stick up for me if somebody is picking on me or harassing me. Not that that happens often, but you kind of want a guy who is going to tell another guy at the bar to lay off - and who is going to be just intimidating-looking enough to pull it off without starting a brawl or getting his ass handed to him on a platter.

He doesn't mind kids and he's good with them, but he doesn't want any. He's got a good family structure or wants one, without being disturbingly close to his mother. Or sister.

He's reasonably smart. He doesn't have to have a college degree necessarily but I want someone I can really talk to about abstract concepts and current events, as well as stupid stuff.

I would love it if he was a good cook, as I am not.

He wants to work at the relationship, to communicate, to work with me through my issues. He doesn't expect me to be perfect either, but he's got to be better at this than I am. I want to be better, I just don't have the experience.

He's not terribly religious. I'm not, and I don't see myself with someone who is.

He's socially liberal.

It would be great if he had some of the following interests: horse racing (uh, yeah), television, traveling, sports, music, creativity. He is in no way required to scrapbook. *grin* But he's got to support my varied hobbies and tastes.

He likes board games, or at least is willing to play. That's big with my family. He likes big noisy family gatherings and nights with friends as well as nights alone. Maybe he's not the most talkative person in the room, but he's easy-going, gets along with people, and best of all, likes the people I like.

Yeah, I'm asking a lot. But this is the ideal, remember. The perfect scenario. There are probably a million other things that I could specify too, I suppose, but well, this is what I've come up with now. What are your ideals?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Busy? Oh, I Know From Busy...

I feel the need to share this because it's cracking me up!! Here's the holiday rundown and next year:

Friday: office Christmas party, at which I am to bring a white elephant gift - which is not ready to be presented yet.
Saturday: Vet visit for regular checkup for cat; holiday shopping should be finished up; Hanukkah party at friend's house
Next Saturday: Birthday party for niece, which will require overnight visit - present still to be wrapped
24th-26th: travel to visit family, Christmas, post-holiday shopping; planning of bridal shower for Charleston wedding
31st-1st: travel to visit friends for New Year's and girls' day out.

Jan 15th: presidential primary (for which work will be very busy)

Jan 19th: bridal shower/bachelorette party for cousin; requires overnight stay

Late Jan: I get older, consider mid-life crisis, realize I am still single, consider weeping copiously

March 6th-12th: Charleston visit for wedding, which is also a family vacation

First Sat in May: may or may not throw Derby party

July or Aug: must throw bridal shower/bachelorette party

Aug or Sept: wedding at which I am co-maid of honor

Oct: contract is up at work; may need to look for another job if contract not renewed

Miscellaneous: must finish wedding gifts, which are being handmade. Must finish Christmas decorating, Christmas cards, shopping and wrapping gifts; must plan bridal shower/bachelorette party; must find red shoes for Charleston wedding; must plan own part of Charleston wedding/vacation, while simultaneously organizing with all other family members; must try on dresses and generally help bride in the fall wedding in whatever way needed, as other co-maid of honor is out of state; must buy said dress, shoes, accessories, bridal shower gifts, etc; must coordinate with other bridesmaids for fall wedding, all of whom are out of town, and one of which is notoriously reticent and unreliable; must keep up with birthdays, anniversaries, children's parties, friends' events, family events, etc; must keep up with work and housework; must reorganize finances; should keep up with enjoyable hobbies like scrapbooking, cross stitch, genealogy, television and movies. And I don't even have kids.

Here's what I'm thinking: You can call me selfish, whatever you want, I honestly don't care. 2008 is going to be a really busy year, and a little bit expensive too! lol. If I have the money, I think I might just take a long weekend for myself around May or June. So...what should I do? A spa weekend? A road trip? Spend some money for something I really want? I considered going to Gainesway Farms in KY to see Afleet Alex, but that requires plane tickets or lots of driving.

I want to do something really self-indulgent, if I can afford it. I have a lot of friends who would say 'come visit!' but I'm thinking something else - yes, something that ends up being all about me and my interests. (I said you could call me selfish - I plan to be selfish.) I just don't know what I should do. Any ideas?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Why Do We Even Say It?

I was reading the funnies today and one of them is in the middle of a story involving a mom dealing with her teenage daughter who is concerned with how she looks. In the last installment, the mom said, "It doesn't matter how you look, it matters what you do."

She's half right.

Of course it matters what you do. How many really good-looking people have you met who turned out to be total jerks? They sure get less attractive as they go along, don't they?

But it's absolute bullshit to say 'it doesn't matter how you look.' It ABSOLUTELY matters.

People judge you immediately by how you look. Let's look at your clothes. Is this person rich or poor? Does this person dress like I do, thus making them more relatable? Are they clean? Do their clothes fit them? Do they care about how they look?

And let's look at physical features. Do I find this person attractive? Are they thin or fat? Do I approve of how they look?

If we run around pretending looks don't matter, maybe we're aiming for that time when they really won't. But the fact is, they do. I'll admit it - I don't want to sleep with someone I don't find attractive on both levels - mentally AND physically. If he doesn't take care of himself physically - doesn't shower regularly, or is grossly overweight, or just doesn't appeal to me - that's going to cut into my attraction to him, regardless of whether he's the sweetest guy in the world.

Plus, when we tell kids that stuff doesn't matter, we're not preparing them for how it works in the real world. There are studies that say that attractive people are perceived to do better in their jobs. They get more respect, more attention, you name it. Other studies show that overweight people, on the other hand, are treated with less respect, regardless of how well they actually perform their jobs. How do YOU look at the woman who wears the Grandma Christmas sweater to work over Sansabelt pants and orthopedic shoes? Chances are you treat her totally differently than her same-age, same-job coworker who gets her hair done regularly, who carries a Coach purse and wears a suit every day over pointed-toe kitten heels.

I'm not saying we should ONLY pay attention to how people look. That's remarkably shallow, and really, in the end, it DOES matter most what you do. How many people you might call 'unattractive' or 'ugly' become more attractive to you the more you know about them? But I think we do kids a disservice by saying that stuff doesn't matter AT ALL. It's in your best interest to present your most attractive self, in work, in play, anywhere. It will help you make friends, meet people, do well at work and socially.

I'm NOT advocating living by Cosmo's rules of dressing or Elle or whatever people read. Or living by designer labels. You can do that all wrong too - and any of you who know me know that's not who I am. But I AM advocating being honest when we try to boost kids' self esteem - only for them to find out the hard way that that stuff is still going to matter once you leave the hallowed high school halls. You make the choices about how you look and how you present yourself. You can make the choice not to pursue style over comfort. But recognize it's going to affect how you are perceived, from when you are old enough to dress yourself, until you die. So will all the things you can't control - how you're built, for example. You might just get the short end of the gene stick. You can learn to make it work for you instead of pretending that 'that stuff doesn't matter.' It sure does.

And maybe there's a way we can be honest about that, without crushing kids and making them think it's just going to be like high school for the rest of their lives, or that people only want to know what they look like, not who they are or what they do. I just wish I knew how to be honest without creating more problems in the process. I just don't think we should lie to kids and say, "Hey, it doesn't matter that Sally will be a size 2 for the rest of her life and will always be hella gorgeous." That's crap. It DOES matter. She WILL be treated differently than a person who is just as smart and rich as she is, who does just as many good things as she does, but who happens to be considered by society to be less attractive. They could even wear the same labels in appropriate sizes and get their hair done the same way. Sally will 9 times out of 10 be treated better.

And to pretend any differently, is to delude ourself about how our world works.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Trading In This Body for a New One

If only that were possible. I would sign up right away.

This morning when I got up my old vertigo kicked in. It's very mild, comparitively speaking, but it does make for some unpleasantness (not to mention drunken walking) until the allergy pill and/or the Dramamine can kick in.

Docs have said it's likely an allergy thing. But it hasn't bothered me in a couple of years. And look, here it is again.

Not to mention the dodgy tum you've all heard me gripe about, and a few other annoying but hardly life-threatening problems.

Now, if I trade this body in for a new one, I'd like it to be taller and thinner, please. And more athletic if you can swing it. Thx.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

How I'm Going To Handle the Writers' Strike

I have a plan. A real plan for surviving all the reruns that come with the holiday season and that could stretch out before us afterward, if the writers strike goes on forever. Yeah, and I like lists. And before you say it, of course I can read and do other things. I already do a lot of things while the TV is on. (Don't remind me of the craft projects I haven't finished!! Or my Christmas shopping. Or the dishes that need doing.) I'm just talking about my viewing.

1. I'll catch up on all the new episodes of my favorite shows, as they air. Pretty basic, and makes sense. Why not see what there is to see new while it's out there? Some shows are holding onto new episodes to air in mid-December or early January, even though they've already been filmed. That makes it all seem less dire. Plus I always tape a lot of stuff I haven't had time to watch yet, so I can catch up on those shows and at least one other tape of horse racing from this spring that I haven't watched yet. (If I had a DVD burner, I would spend a lot of my time transferring horse races to DVD. A girl can dream about her Christmas present under the tree, right?)

2. TV shows on DVD, of course. I have a season and a half of The 4400 on DVD to watch and return to a friend, and as far as I'm aware, there's at least one other season of that show on DVD that I can rent. Plus I have a ton of shows on DVD that I love and could easily rewatch - Buffy, Angel, X-Files, and a few other goodies - Firefly, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie. Plus, I've been rewatching S2 of Supernatural on tape and listening to the accompanying podcasts.

3. TV shows online. I just realized that part of the second half of S3 of Battlestar Galactica is still online. Sure, I'd rather watch them all and in order, but if it comes down to it, I can easily fill in the blanks later when reruns air. Might as well know most of what's going on so that when S4 starts, I'm at least mostly up to speed. I DON'T plan to download episodes from I-Tunes; no point in paying for what's going to air eventually on TV anyway. Plus, well, I'm cheap.

4. Catch reruns of shows that are new to me. Everybody raves about 'Pushing Daisies' - if I know that it's going into reruns (as opposed to being replaced by reality TV) I'm considering watching it. There are probably other shows floating around out there that are just as worthy of watching.

5. Cable, baby. Reruns of Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, Cold Case Files, Forensic Files, and those shows that I am still catching up on, like The 4400. There's a whole lot out there worth watching that I just haven't had time to see. Plus I can always watch old CSIs, guilty pleasures like World's Wildest Police Videos, you name it. In the summer I watch a lot of educational programming - I've probably seen every program on Egypt that's out there - and I can always do that now instead.

6. There are always movies. I'm not a big movie watcher anymore, but I can always, if need be, find a film or two I haven't seen that I'm interested in. I can rent 'em, borrow 'em or watch 'em on Turner Classic Movies.

So which of my shows might not survive the strike, in terms of my viewing? I think the writers and the shows are kind of shooting themselves in the foot. If I get out of the habit of watching a show, I'm going to have to want to get back into the habit. Bionic Woman is the show most at risk of being ditched. It's been inconsistent and I just don't care about the characters like I should. I've been watching it for BSG alums, mostly. I half-watch CSI:NY, mostly on On Demand and for the scenery.

I already ditched Prison Break this season - I just felt like with Sarah's death, it jumped the proverbial shark. I ditched CSI: Miami from last season - too many holey plots, and if I start picking apart your plot, you've got gaps.

Of course, then I'm worried about the shows that I love that might not survive the strike if it goes far too long, in terms of cancellation. Supernatural is the most likely one; it's barely hanging on as it was, and the CW has been messing with it pretty hard. I'd be peeved if I lost Reaper or Chuck too; I think Chuck's safe, but Reaper tends to be kind of repetitive. Moonlight could also suffer, but I'm not emotionally invested in this show, really. It's fun, but not appointment TV.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have one last tape of GhostHunters to watch...while I darn my socks.

Luv Dat Kitteh

I could be accomplishing something. I could be doing laundry, or dishes, or listening to one of my many stored up podcasts.

No, I'm looking at pictures of cute cats with goofy captions.

http://icanhascheezburger.com

I'm still laughing at the shot of the bushbaby with the hand behind it. Those big eyes! Yeah, it's not just cats - a few dogs and other animals too. There's a great elephant shot.

Seriously cool timewaster for work.

Must goe back too kittehs...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Weep

That sound you hear? Me weeping.

It's actually SNOWING outside.

*sob*

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Maybe You Shouldn't Meet Them...

I make a lousy fangirl. I've been aware of that for some time now. I do not like to meet famous people (especially those who are my age or younger) under the guise of being a 'fan'. I prefer to do it as a journalist or as a businessperson.

Some of the gals I know from the blog went to a convention in Chicago this past weekend where they met some of the people from the show we all watch together. And some of the gals were disappointed that one of the guys seemed standoffish, while others reported he hadn't been feeling well so he wasn't his usual self, while others said he's generally shy so this whole setup tends to be uncomfortable for him.

A digression that ties in: my mom is a huge race car fan. There was an opportunity to meet her favorite driver, and she didn't go. I asked her why. The gist of her response was basically, what if I didn't like him as a person?

That's stuck with me. Why meet them, in the fan perspective, if it turns out they're not going to be very nice? I mean, sure, it's the risk you take when you meet anybody, and I would never say somebody shouldn't meet someone they've long looked forward to meeting. (I drove to Kentucky to meet a horse. Yes, really. But there, the emotional stakes are much smaller. Cigar came to his stall door when I called to him, but I bet he was really hoping I had a peppermint. I didn't take that personally.) I also get that meeting fans can be tiring and stressful, and if you have a bad day it can have repercussions. I get that these guys don't have to go to these conventions. They can take the day off.

So what happens if you're disappointed? Even more so, what happens if you're disappointed and have the opportunity to share it with other fans? I mean, I guess I'd definitely say so if I met somebody famous and he or she was really rude. But does it end up coloring what other people end up thinking about this famous person? Sure.

I guess I'm of the state of mind that if someone is really famous, it would depend on how much it matters to me that they're really nice, and it would also matter HOW I'm meeting them. If they come to my office, I'm in a professional setting, and I feel a little more confident than if I'm going to a convention, where I'm obviously a fan. Interviews are another setting where I have some measure of confidence. I once interviewed Robert Goulet, who was really nice, and I also interviewed Lions running back TJ Duckett and was impressed with his professionalism, especially toward a female interviewer. Then again, I interviewed two Tigers pitchers who obviously thought I was a lightweight, but when I went over to talk to Robert Fick (when he was with the team) he was really nice.

Of course, I had no emotional stake in whether these guys were cool or not, but it was a bonus that they all were.

It also depends on who that person is, too. I'm a lot less likely to meet a matinee idol than I am a jockey, for example - the fan base is smaller and more specialized, and I have never been good with the person I'm meeting thinking, "she must think I'm hot." Or something along that line.

All of that said, I'm glad I didn't go to the convention, even though everybody who went reported having a good time. That makes it easier for me to enjoy the characters and not have a memory of how the actor was, or of how he was supposed to be.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Random Mutterings

I realize someone is going to read the previous post and think they were smothering me. They aren't. The person by whom I felt smothered doesn't even know this blog exists, and so I don't want anyone to feel bad. Trust me, it's not you. It's not even a full smothering. Just a little short of breath. ;-)

And I'm a loner really, in most ways, so it's easy for me to feel a little overwhelmed by people. It takes me such a long time to get to a comfortable place with people - to trust them or want to hang out with them - so I'm a lot of work to be around. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that that is me, and I'm not weird, and I'm not crazy. I just am who I am.

I'm still chatting with the blog girls, but the drama comes and goes with the changing characters. Unfortunately, the powers that be are messing with my show something fierce - adding two chick characters who are DREADFUL. I really wish Supernatural wasn't on the CW - of course maybe it would have been cancelled by now, BUT it wouldn't be turning into One Tree Hill With Ghosts. Plus they stopped playing classic rock music. I have GOT to find an email address in order to bitch them out something fierce.

I mean, really. If you want to add tough female characters, you just call me and I'll write them for you. My heroine is a verbal badass, although physically not so much. She's getting there, but she can be cheeky with the best of them. I would have written much better characters than what we're getting.

I'm not sure how one human being can have so much STUFF. I tried to clean out my closet, but I wasn't in the right purge mood. Do you know what I mean? I have to be in that right mood to actually go through the closet and get rid of stuff, and I just wasn't there today. I'll have to wait until I get to that place to part with some clothes.

My secret is this - I don't buy any more hangers. And when I run out of hangers, I know it's time to go through the closet and get rid of some stuff. It works, mostly.

Learning Something

The last few weeks have been nothing but crazy! My brother got married and I was in the wedding, two couples I know have broken up, one is getting engaged, and one of my coworkers wants to come over and hang out. So for a while there I was feeling really overwhelmed with everything.

I'm one of those people who knows they're selfish. I know I am. I think it's because I'm in a place where I feel like I'm close to a lot of people, but not the closest person to any of them. So how do I explain this without sounding like I'm feeling sorry for myself? (Which I'm not.) Most of my friends and family members are married and/or have kids, and when the chips are down, those are the people they think of first - and they should! So I've developed a sense of looking out for myself, and often that manifests as selfishness. That, and in the past I used to bend over backwards to make people like me, and as I got older, I got sick of doing that, so I'm a lot more solitary than I used to be, and even more independent than I was growing up.

So when I started feeling just overwhelmed with everything that was going on, I heard me asking myself, "Should I feel this way?" And answering, "No, these people need you and you want to be needed, and so you shouldn't feel this way. You shouldn't be selfish and think about yourself right now. You should be a good friend/family member."

Well, the problem is, I kept feeling that way. And finally it occurred to me: it doesn't matter if it's right or wrong that I feel this way, the fact is, I FEEL THIS WAY. And I have to operate from that assumption, instead of pretending that how I feel must be wrong. Because I was ignoring that I was feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, even a little smothered, and I started feeling really tense and tightly wound. But if I'm not feeling like myself, how can I be a good friend to somebody else?

Let me emphasize, nobody is doing anything wrong. I was honored to be part of the wedding, and I WANT to be a good listener/friend to those people going through breakups to do what I can to help, and be there for the person now planning her wedding. It's not fair for me to lean on these folks and then disappear when they need me. It's just that it happened all at once, and the holidays are coming, and I was getting behind on my preparations. My house was a mess, on top of everything, and that always makes me tense. And I will have been in three weddings in less than a year. Which makes me feel incredibly loved and cared for, and yeah, a little stressed, but that comes with the territory. :-)

So I just said to myself, "Take this weekend and just do what you got to do." So I did. And I turned down some opportunities to get together with friends, and at first I felt guilty. Then I told myself again that it didn't matter if it was right or wrong, I feel the way I feel.

And I already feel a lot better. I got some Christmas shopping done, cleaned up my closet, did some other necessary housecleaning, and generally started to feel back in control of my life. I didn't answer the phone or call anybody. Yeah, I went kind of hermit.

Now I can get back in touch with those people who need someone to talk to and be a better friend to them, and all I've done is taken three days to myself. And I've realized I'm past the age where I should worry about what other people are going to say is right or wrong, but be in tune with how I feel and take care of that, without hurting or neglecting anybody else. I didn't run around telling all of these people, "Don't call me!! I'm stressed because of you!" or something equally asinine and untrue. I just kind of retreated. So nobody else got hurt because of what I decided to do.

But in the process, I think I learned to take a better look inward and respect that how I feel is how I feel, whether it feels right or wrong.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Sunday Driving Monday Through Friday

When I come home from work, I usually take 496, which loops around town and practically drops me on my doorstep. Until recently, 496 used to be 55 miles per hour - which almost NOBODY ever did unless there was a cop in the median - but now it's 70 miles an hour - which is really nice except in a few places where it feels far too fast.

But here's my beef. A lot of people still drive it like it's 55. Which, when you're dealing with people coming home from work, means a lot of unnecessary backups.

Look, I get it. You're used to doing 55-60 and it's a habit. I get that. And I get that a lot of people back when it was 55 still did 70 mph anyway. But if the sun is shining, and you're holding up a line of cars because you insist on STILL doing 55 in the 70, isn't that more than a little silly?

Plus it irritates the crap out of me.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Found My Pants!!!

You might have heard that a few weeks ago I took in my brand new jeans to be hemmed - and the tailor shop lost them. Yes, lost my brand new jeans.

Women everywhere just know how hard it is to find a pair of jeans that fit and look good, so losing a pair you like can make you want to shoot steam out of your ears. And I was about to do so at the tailor shop - thank heavens they got my bridesmaid dress taken care of - until the jeans finally showed up yesterday. And they didn't charge me for the hem. Thank GOD. Cuz I was not looking forward to going back to the Tommy outlet at Great Lakes Crossing and getting another pair. And they wouldn't have been on sale anymore anyway.

I got the jeans excited to wear them to work. Well, at this rate, I won't be GOING to work, if a budget deal isn't reached.

But I'm not going to rant about that. At least in public...

Movie Review - Music and Lyrics

It's a pity when you get a good cast, funny lines and a good idea, and squander it on a mediocre script. Such is the case with Music and Lyrics, a rom-com that's out on DVD.

The plot is pretty simple: Alex Fletcher (Hugh Grant) is the Andrew Ridgeley of an 80s band called Pop, and he can write music, but not lyrics. Sophie Fisher (Drew Barrymore) is the new plant watering girl who overhears a lyrics-writing session, mutters a 'better' line under her breath, and ends up Fletcher's writing partner.

Yeah, that struck me as weird too.

See, Fletcher has an opportunity to pen a song for the next big thing - a sexed up blonde pop tart named Cora who thinks she's spiritual - a sort of amalgam of Britney, Christina, and Shakira, all of whom get name checked in the script. He just can't write the lyrics. In the past that was his musical partner Colin's role, and Colin later ran off with a bunch of Alex's songs and made a mint, while Fletcher fell into obscurity.

So of course now Fletcher has to persuade Sophie to write songs with him so he can get back into the game, even though she doesn't want to, and the trials and tribulations of getting this song to Cora's stage show are what define the movie.

Except, well, they don't. There came a point about 45 minutes in that the movie felt finished to me, but it went on for another 45 minutes with side plots and the usual romantic confusion. And the characters don't always hold true - Sophie is presented early on as deeply peculiar and maybe germophobic, but neither personality trait rears its head later. (I say that because Sophie isn't exactly normal, but then again, you don't cast Barrymore for normal.) And Hugh Grant just plays The Usual - full of heavy blinking, stuttering and twitching, so that's pretty standard.

And in fact that's what the movie is - pretty standard. The lyrics everybody raves about aren't particularly good, the melody is pure bubblegum, the plot wanders around creating obstructions, and the songs are only catchy in that way that makes you want to gouge your own ear drums out about an hour or two later. The exception to the ho-hum is that Grant especially gets some whipcrack hilarious lines - delivered only the way he can deliver them - and the video for 'Pop Goes My Heart' which will inspire some serious flashbacks if you lived through the 80s British Invasion. Oh, and Grant's voice is pretty good, and Barrymore can carry a tune although, delightfully, she sounds pleasantly average, which I found refreshing.

Don't get me wrong, I like Hugh Grant - to a degree, although I think he looks a little thin and craggy here - and I find something very appealing about Drew Berrymore. She's got a kind of luminosity that transcends what seem to be her negative hallmarks: unflattering makeup and hair that constantly needs brushing. I keep wishing we could see her made up to showcase her unique appeal. And they have pretty good chemistry, so that works for the movie, even if you know going in that they're going to hook up, it's just a question of when and how.

An opportunity was missed here to talk about the rise and fall of music's best and brightest - or at least most successful - between Fletcher's Pop and Cora. But I get that that might be too heavy for a romantic comedy, so it's never explored, even though the movie might have been weightier and more worthwhile had that been discussed.

In other casting notes, Brad Garrett has a smidgen of fun as Alex's manager and Kristen Johnston is at her full-bore insane best as Sophie's sister. And Campbell Scott is nearly unrecognizable as an old writing teacher of Sophie's in a side plot that was completely unnecessary. When I realized it was him, all I could think was, "This is the same guy who said 'I was just nowhere near your neighborhood'?"

Only rent this one if you like any of the leads and can take your romantic comedies with a heavy dose of cheese.

Animal Trauma: None, although I can't say the same for the plants.

Overall: Some good lines and an 80s flashback can't make up for a lackluster script. Two roses out of five.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Battlestar Bandwagon

I did it, yes I did. I got on the Battlestar Galactica bandwagon. A buddy loaned me Seasons one and two, and I just finished one. Damn, it's a good show. Heavy, you can't watch more than an episode or two in one sitting, really, not like some of those shows where you can watch hours and hours because you don't need to absorb that much.

It deals with death, and life, and emotion, and war, and loyalty, and really kick ass fighting, and solid strong characters. We only know four or five Cylon models, and there are 12. And I think what they really want is to FEEL like we do, and that's the one thing they lack - the gradients of emotion that humans have. It's much more serious than its predecessor, and the special effects are pretty good on top of everything else.

One of my friends liked the old show and says she just can't get into the groove of this one, now that Starbuck is a woman. I gotta tell you, Starbuck is a ballbuster of the most fun kind - she smokes cigars, she picks fights, and we just learned she really wants to shag Apollo. Of course, if you've seen him, you would too. I'd sign up for that.

There's an episode where Starbuck ends up with a Cylon Raider fighting ship, and she's really playing against no one but she does a great job. It's fun. Apollo is a little more wooden at times; I think it's because the actor is British doing a darn good American accent. But the rest of the cast is really good, and besides, you gotta love a President named Laura.

Susie, Did You Just Call Australia?

Somebody's kid called my answering machine the other day. I don't know who it was; at first all I could hear was coughing, then voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. All I could figure was that some kid had ahold of Mom's cell and dialed me. It was pretty funny; it went on for a couple minutes.

Either that or Rosa's friends tried her again at this number. After a frakkin' year you think they would figure out that she's not here.

Do parents give kids real phones to play with often? I mean, do you ever get a phone call from your nephew who is just able to barely say your name or something? Unassisted by an adult, anyway? Huh.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Movie Review - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

So when you get on a roll writing, you want to keep writing. Thus, the movie review of a movie I saw a couple of weeks ago. Bear with me.

(This review assumes you've seen all the HP movies and read up through Book Five. Read ahead at your own risk if you haven't done either.)

By the time this movie comes out on DVD, you might need to change the title to: "Harry Potter and the Screaming Fangirls." Harry has grown up. I actually think he's shaving. That seriously disturbs me. But more on that later.

"Order of the Phoenix" is a long book, jam packed with Harry's teenage angst in a major way - he's actually kind of bratty, although I'm almost willing to give the kid a pass most of the time, except when he's rotten to his friends. This leaves the movie some big shoes to fill, and the attempt is nobly made, but in the end it misses the one feeling I get every time I read the book: deep and sickening dread.

A quick synopsis: Harry has watched Cedric Diggory die at the hands of Voldemort, and knows the evil one is back. When this book starts, Harry is trying to tell everyone who will listen that Voldemort is back - but most people don't believe him and the Minster of Magic and his cronies are painting Harry as a big fat liar. Harry is dealing with that, his crush on Cho Chang, and the horrifically creepy kitten-plate loving Dolores Umbridge, who is trying to run the school with an iron fist encased in a frilly pink glove.

One of the horrors of the book for me was Harry's punishment at Umbridge's hands - he must write lines in his own blood, which will scar his skin. And this happens repeatedly, in Umbridge's pink classroom where she refuses to teach spells against the Dark Arts - a hands-off, ignore-the-truth policy that infuriates me every time because I equate it with abstinence-only sex education. If we pretend it isn't happening, it isn't! Now. Let's discuss knitting.

The movie touches on this punishment briefly (oh but we do get a lovely shot of the mewing kitten plates; I nearly died laughing in the theater when I saw them) but doesn't give me that same lingering feeling of malevolence, incompetance and horror that I get when I read the book. There simply isn't time.

That's what this movie really needed - more time to tell the story. From the dementor attack in the beginning to the end when the world knows the truth, this movie hurries along at a sharp clip. Even Fred and George's school-ditching revenge gets shorter shrift than it really deserved. (And can we even agree on what a dementor looks like from one film to the next? Please??)

Of course, Imelda Staunton inhabits Umbridge with a sort of tittering glee; watching her go toe-to-toe, literally, with Dame Maggie Smith (McGonagall) is sheer fun, partially because I kept hoping McGonagall would eat Umbridge for breakfast - you know she's capable of it. And the creme de la creme of British acting royalty always deliver in these films, so you're getting good solid casting and talent. Try to tell me Emma Thompson isn't having loads of fun as flighty Sybil Trelawny. Just try it.

Even Rupert Grint, who is Ron Weasley, is no longer mugging like he did in movies two and three, and instead gives us some depth. All the kids are getting better, and this time we have the inclusion of Luna Lovegood (Evanna Lynch) who is as spacey as I expected Luna to be, although not as serious as I had pictured her. But no matter. The ending, while unfortunately truncated, is pure wizardly fun - Helena Bonham Carter gets to be crazy-on-a-stick as Bellatrix LeStrange, Gary Oldman reminds us again why purely creepy roles do him short shrift as the heroic Sirius Black, and there's always Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy to chew scenery in his blond wig if needed.

And back to Harry shaving. Harry is having bad dreams, so we get closeups of Harry writhing, sweaty and tortured, in his sleep. Suddenly I could picture teenage girls the world over getting gooey at the sight of him - he's going to be a hunk at some point in his life, and since he's legal, I only feel mostly creepy at saying this, not entirely creepy - and they are likely watching his nightmares with the urge to both snuggle him, and possibly snog him. (I'll use the British term out of politeness.) It's both fun and offputting to watch these kids grow up on film. In the first movie he was huggably adorable. By the seventh movie he'll be able to drink legally in the States. And that really kind of squicked me out. But anyway, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I just have to avoid those shirtless Equus play pics or I'll feel like a real pervert.

Animal Trauma: I don't recall any, a few weeks out, but you might feel sorry for those mewling kittens in the plates!

Overall: Competant but rushed. I give it three roses out of five, and promise to try to control the creeped-out squicks if Harry has facial hair in the next film.

A little side note: I saw this movie the weekend Book Seven came out, and I remember sitting in the theater saying to myself: "I have all the answers at home!" And when I got home the first thing I did was plow through that book to get the answers.

Movie Review - The Bourne Ultimatum

First off, a confession: I find Jason Bourne supremely sexy. Even more so when he's kicking someone's ass. So this review not only assumes you've seen the previous films, but also comes with a healthy dose of estrogen. Read at your own risk. :-)

As you're probably aware, by this time in the series, Bourne is wrestling with the motherlode of both guilt and amnesia. He knows he's killed people, and he can recall all their faces, but he can't remember their names. His girlfriend Marie has been killed and he wants revenge, peace, and answers - and the order in which those come is often interchangeable.

The third movie opens with Bourne being pursued in Moscow. Not having watched the previous films recently, I'm not recalling why he was there in the first place or how he got hurt, but he's already wounded when we first light upon him, yet still accomplishing his miraculous and brave escapes. And then this never comes up again during the rest of the movie.

No matter. Bourne gets tangled up with reporter Simon Ross (Paddy Considine) and some old pals at the CIA - Noah, the Deputy Director (David Straitharn - that guy about whom I always say 'what's his name again?') Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) and Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles). They want to get their hands on him before he can cause bigger trouble than he's already caused in connection with Ross. Ross, who thinks he's smarter than the people he writes about, is trying to out the whole project. And Bourne wants to simultaneously figure out the beginning of the project by tracing Ross's source, and doesn't want to kill any more people than truly necessary. Which of course depends on whether those people are trying to kill him or not.

The movie's plot is essentially unnecessary. By the time we get back to Bourne's beginning, it's really something of a letdown, and we never really know the cause of his initial amnesia. Stiles has a throwaway role - you think for a bit it might be Marie Redux - and is essentially there to be the pretty girl. She's no Franke Potente, though, much as I normally love Julia Stiles. Here I spent a lot of time figuring out what shade lipstick she was wearing and how I might get a tube. She simply doesn't have a lot to do, and the film would have done much better keeping Potente's character, whom she inhabited with such life and vigor. However, would Bourne want his revenge if the love of his life was dead? Guess not. Moving on.

Allen has a little more scenery to chew, although whoever is clothing her character in drab turtlenecks and keeping her from brushing her hair should probably be fired. Allen and Straitharn do get to do verbal battle, which is a nice touch, but it could have been snappier, considering how much of a threat they feel Bourne to be, and how good these two actors are.

Ah well. The action is non-freakin-stop the whole film, which is really why you're going to see it anyway. Daring rooftop chases, cars bouncing here there and everywhere, and dear little Julia trying not to get a bullet in the brain. Bourne kicks more ass in this one than the last one, and I must say, watching that boyscout face kick the crap out of people with such ease is more than a little thrilling.

Which is really why this movie succeeds. Matt Damon would not have been my initial choice in this role (which shows you what I know), but he lends a gravitas to the role by essentially not emoting, and that boy-next-door face is starting to line a little around the mouth and eyes - we get lots of closeups of that handsome face, much to my joy - so he looks wearier and older than he did in the first one - in a way that really works for him. You might even argue he looks a little broader in the shoulder, but maybe that was my wishful thinking. In short, he's made the role absolutely believable and pretty yummy at the same time. A movie for men and women, only for differing reasons.

Damon gives Bourne the cornucopia of women's lust issues: he's gorgeous without being pretty, he can kick the ass of anybody who messes with the women he knows, he's obviously smart, calm and collected, and on top of it he's wounded and vulnerable, and you might even argue gentle if need be. If that doesn't send you into an O-ring blowing frenzy, my dear, you need to check your estrogen levels.

Of course I still missed Clive Owen from the first film, but oh well. You can't have everything.

And this is one movie where I need to mention the soundtrack. John Powell's strings and tempo pieces are so invigorating that I bought the first soundtrack, and I absolutely love what he's written for the action scenes.

Animal Trauma: None, but you may mourn for Julia Stiles' lovely highlights if you like.

Overall: Plot thin, action thick, hero hooooooottttttttt. I give it four roses out of five, the last rose purely for Matt Damon being all swoon-worthy and making me wonder where I can get a Bourne of my own.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Getting Dressed

I went shopping for clothes yesterday, trying to find a top that would simultaneously work on casual Fridays at the office and for any family gathering where it was too chilly to go sleeveless, but too warm to wear long sleeves. I didn't have a whole lot of luck. Which is why I generally take people with me when I go shopping. I need to know what really does look good on me, even though I'm not so sure. I have no sense of what works or what doesn't, even after years of watching 'What Not To Wear' on TLC.

And one of my other problems is I'm often buying clothes for a couple of different 'mes'. Let me explain.

'LA' likes to wear yoga pants and tank tops, cotton shorts and concert t-shirts and Teva sandals. She's all about comfort, and you most often see her on a Saturday afternoon watching horse racing. She doesn't wear scent but prefers the smell of fabric softener and dryer sheets. (Laugh all you want, I find them comforting.)

'Anne' dresses for the office. She likes dress pants and boots, and the occasional suit, skirt or slingback. She likes crisp button down shirts and fitted jackets. She could stand to even class up a bit sometimes, even on casual Fridays. She wears scents like perfume, Japanese Cherry Blossom, Black Raspberry Vanilla and Night-Blooming Jasmine.

'Laura' goes to family events and children's birthday parties in skorts and sleeveless camp shirts, wearing nice sandals and looking wholesome and fresh. She wears Cherry Blossom, Jasmine Vanilla and Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin scents.

Then there's 'Alex.' Alex is the hell on wheels sexy version. She wants fitted boot-cut jeans and pointy-toed boots, fitted tees, leather jackets and maybe a cowboy hat from time to time. She doesn't show up very often because her venue is Saturday nights out, and there aren't many of those, so these days she lives in the imagination only. Oh, and she wears apple-scented products, along with tasty food scents, like Fantasia di Cicciolata and Creme Brulee.

So I'm often trying to dress at least four distinct personalities, sometimes more, depending on the season, location, day of the week and state of mind. Lately I've been trying to work a little Alex into the other personalities, because I've been single forever and frankly, Alex is a lot of fun. And from time to time I get tired of comfort and cuteness and being clean cut, and pretty much want to rebel (even at age 34). But I don't know how to do it right for me.

And when I don't know what else to do, I turn to what I'm used to. That means I have a lot of LA and Laura clothes, but not so many good Anne outfits and definitely very few Alex outfits.

Which is why I should never go shopping alone.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Lion

As you probably know, I do a lot of blogging online with a small community that has, in its own unique way, become surprisingly close. Recently we started writing fiction that included each other as characters, and our stories have overlapped and gotten woven together. I have been doing some writing too, which is weird, since I don't usually post anything publicly, but I took the theme and ran with it, and have found that it's actually a lot of fun. I've been able to tap into my creative side in a way that's been dormant for a while, and I've enjoyed the supportive feedback I've gotten. (Some gals like the crackling dialogue. Imagine, me, the talker, writing about talking! ha ha ha)

There is a character that is me, by another name, and she's had some interesting adventures - fought off a headless horseman, escaped a vengeful poltergeist, been attacked by shadow people, lied to her newspaper editor in order to help fend off an apocalypse...yeah, she's been pretty busy, and not in conventional ways.

That includes meeting in some cases a handsome doctor (wouldn't my mother be proud!) who helps fend off evil and may or may not have a shady past that includes cleaning up from suspected crimes perpetrated by good people against bad (well, maybe she'd be less proud now).

Why this matters is, I started writing about that male character (not a doc in my version but an exercise rider at a major racetrack). I think a lot about my characters - get to know them as I craft them, think about how they would react to certain situations. In short, they are people to me, ones I created, but complex and layered.

In my story, my lead me-character was telling another character how well she and he got along with each other's friends and family. And then I started thinking about how this character would get along with my friends and family. I pictured him sitting at my brother's house learning to play Uno or how he might be shy around my talkative friends at first but would then open up.

And I was really wistful, you know, for somebody like that to fit into my life. Somebody who would see the best parts of me, which that character I created is, and who would want to be part of the life that I have. Would want to be close to my family. Would want to get to know my friends. Would want to come to family Christmases and travel the world and watch TV in his pajamas with me [drawstring pants, natch ;-)]. Would want to come to movie nights and play board games, and then teach me how to be braver and stronger. See things I've never seen. Take risks. Explore.

One of the gals writes a scene where the character based on me meets this doc - we turn up in a couple of stories in a couple of incarnations, all basic variations on a theme - and it practically popped off the page for me. How she shakes his hand and her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth (a peanut butter reference, however unintentional, always wins points with me) and how he smiles when he sees her, and how he has eyes like a lion's.

Wistfulness becomes an ache and a fear and a hope, all at once.

I will just keep writing.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

On A Roll

Ever have one of those weekends where you feel like you got a lot accomplished? I had one of those. I took Friday off to get some stuff done, and by now, Sunday evening, I'm feeling pretty good about the whole experience. Sure, there were things that didn't get done yet, but on the whole, I feel like I accomplished what I sent out to.

I did laundry and dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned both bathrooms, started to clean the guest bedroom, organized my scrapbooking materials (found my paper cutter finally!), went shopping to get cards and gifts, mailed bills, did some writing, shredded old documents from way-back-when, planted flowers, took out all the recycling, cleaned house, caught up on season finales like Lost, had dinner with some friends, watched some racing (Rags to Riches beats the boys in the Belmont!) and slept in.

So pretty much I feel like taking Friday off was a good idea. May was so busy with family stuff that I started feeling a little behind on all those little things you know you need to do - like scrubbing the kitchen sink or washing the cat's litter box. It looks awful but it doesn't really insist on being done right away. Little things like that.

I don't know what my point was in bringing this up, I just thought I'd post that I felt pretty good going into Monday. Of course, I take my car in for repairs tomorrow so I'll be driving a loaner for a while. Oh goody! That could change my mood altogether.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

I Don't Think You're Referring To Me...

One of the gals on the blog just called me 'well-adjusted.' She was laughing when she said it, so I figure she knows me better than that!

Should I call my mother and tell her somebody said I was well-adjusted?

Granted, the woman who said this to me just wrote some crackling/creepy SM-style smut fiction (I blog with some seriously interesting/warped people). So you know, take it all with a grain of salt. Connected to a tequila body shot off a hot Winchester.




How many of you did I just totally creep out?

Race Car Thoughts

I'm watching this week's IRL race while it pours outside (I'm starting to watch for animals two by two) and I got to thinking about last week's Indy 500. As you know, this is an annual tradition for my mom and aunt to watch it on TV while cheering for their drivers. This year we scrapbooked while it was going on. Well, okay, some of us did. My mom and my aunt were glued to the screen, even during the three hour rain delay.

They usually introduce the drivers before the race starts, row by row. My aunt looked at Tomas Scheckter's suit and said, "He looks like Buzz Lightyear."

The race also had three women (count 'em! Three women!) which meant that the creepy lady who gives the instructions had to say 'Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!' Danica Patrick had a great day; Sarah Fisher not so much, and Milka Duno (who seems to recognize that sex appeal is generally sorely lacking in this sport, and she's gonna supply it with panache) crashed out. But it was kick ass to have all those women in it, even if half my family thinks Danica Patrick sucks.

Well, that's harsh. My cousin doesn't like her attitude, but here's my thought: here's a gal who has been under more pressure than any female racer I know of (I don't know what Janet Guthrie went through, so I admit that failing). She's got a great team, a great car, and the expectations on her to be both attractive and accomplished are a lot more than many of the men have ever had to shoulder. She's got endorsement deals coming out the wazoo, and everybody wants to interview her. So sometimes she comes off as a little cold, but I think it's mostly self-preservation. She really wants to be professional and I think she wants to be considered attractive more than she lets on (otherwise she'd go with shorter hair). But so far I think she's doing really well, and once she gets her first win a lot of people will have to go into their closets, pull out some hats, AND EAT 'EM.

What I loved about watching Dario Franchitti win wasn't jus Ashley Judd running around shrieking with joy while soaking wet but that Tony Kanaan almost leapt across the car to hug his best friend (which, if the first rain delay had stuck, Tony would have been the winner) and even Michael Andretti cracked a smile.

Speaking of the usually dour Michael, he seems to come to the track every year with a new trophy wife. Michael! Skip the bimbos! They just make you seem old and creepy! The one this year was practically gloating. The last one had a tendency to bounce and clap. Ye gods.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Where Have I Been? Good Question

So it's been a while since I've been online. It's not that I haven't had lots going on in my head - I have - but it's been in a different format than usual. I got involved in a personal writing project and that's where my brain's been at for the last few weeks. If this were quality writing that would be one thing, but it's really just a flight of fancy, a fun experiment. Anyway, that doesn't mean it's worthless. It was actually fun. Or should I say 'is' since I keep working on it!

That of course meant I got behind on many of my tv season finales. I'm watching CSI right now; I'm a week behind on Lost, 24, Veronica Mars, and about a month behind on CSI NY and CSI Miami, which I'm ditching after this year because it's ludicrous. When you start finding big ass plot holes, the show loses its joy for you. And I tend to want to suspend my disbelief, so losing me there is a sign of a show's failure. And I usually don't give up on a show before it completes its run.

24 this year was a huge disappointment, and I haven't even gotten to the finale yet, which I will probably half-watch while doing something else. They killed off Tony for starters, but then the show just degenerated into lukewarm plot lines we'd all seen before; Chloe didn't get any good whipcrack lines; Jack disappeared half the day to be replaced by interchangeable actors who didn't make me want to root for them in any way. In short the season was a bust.

Lost has been stellar; I can never understand when people say the show bores them or they gave up on it. I think it's more interesting than ever. Sure, the show has had some up and down points - Nikki and Paulo were a sadly failed experiment - but overall the show has paced itself beautifully and is so well written I wish other shows would take notice. I'm still headed to the finale of that show too, but I have to say the long wait until February will be difficult, especially during the summer rerun season.

My guilty pleasure, Supernatural, wrapped up already - that's the one show I watched live every week - and although it had its moments where I thought the writing could be more crisp, the show remains enjoyable (hey, every week with the Metallicar is a good week). The finale's CGI needed work, and not to give Big Daddy Winchester even a line so we could hear Jeffrey Dean Morgan's stellar pipes at work was a travesty. But now we go into next season with Dean having made a deal with the devil so to speak, and if they don't find a way to get him out of it, he'll be dead in a year. So that gives us some urgency. And the need for a fourth season, otherwise the show'll just kill him off at the end of three, and that would be, indeed, The Suck.

What else have I been doing? The round of family get-togethers, for the most part. I saw my family every weekend in May. Baby showers, birthdays, the annual Indy 500 party which included two days of scrapbooking - I told my mom not to get upset if she didn't see me at all in June! It's funny, I'm not married but I spend a lot of time doing family things! But we always have such a good time. I actually heard my mother make a dirty joke. THAT was a shocker. And my grandmother made a reference to having a doctor whose name was Dr Ruff, and my cousin and I eyeballed each other. Yeah, we went there. Goes back to that wrist restraint conversation I had online with some of the cyber gang! Ha ha ha

I feel like I should have something profound to talk about since I haven't been here in a while, but I really don't. Give me time; maybe something else will occur to me worth discussing.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Virginia Tech

Like many of you, I was horrified earlier this week to turn on my computer and read, throughout my work day, about the escalating tragedy at Virginia Tech University, in which a highly disturbed student killed 32 people on campus, and then himself.

As a reporter I saw this kind of thing in great detail. With every school or office shooting, every bulletin made available to the media came across my desktop, and I read most of them. This time my new career kept me insulated from the worst of it, but despite that, old habits die hard, and I found myself reading what I could about the tragedy as the information became available. And as I have in situations like this in the past, I got angrier and angrier.

When a situation goes horribly awry, you hear often, "How could this have been prevented?" And that is the question that I think needs to be addressed here, and quickly.

By all counts, Cho Seung-Hui was a peculiar guy. He hardly talked to his roommates. He photographed women in class. He wouldn't talk to people who addressed him first.

And so the people who knew him weren't surprised when they learned it was he who snapped and began firing on so many innocent people. Two women had already reported he was stalking them. At least one professor found him so mean and disturbing, she threatened to quit if he stayed in her class. His family, at least according to many accounts I've read, rarely, if ever, visited campus to see him.

So why didn't anyone DO anything? Everyone said nothing he did was specific enough to warrant action. The women he was stalking found it annoying, not frightening. His writing, though disturbing, turned out to be indicative of his intentions, but it was also fiction, and any writer will tell you, imagination is entirely different from action - for most people.

But here was a guy obviously disturbed and hateful, yet it seems everyone just expected he would continue to be weird and self-isolated, even while they watched him out of the corners of their eyes. Instead, he bought guns and ammo, videotaped manifestos, and sent them to the media before slaughtering people sitting in their classes, pursuing futures they now will never have.

THIS WASN'T A SURPRISE TO THOSE WHO KNEW HIM. So where was everyone who could have taken action?

Now, don't get me wrong. I blame HIM entirely for this situation. In the case of the Columbine killers, I laid some blame on their parents. (After all, how does a teenage boy, still in high school, play with pipe bombs in his basement without anyone finding out? Where was his family?) Cho's culture may have played a role in the fact that his family took no action. And at the risk of speculating, if his family didn't visit, perhaps they had very little contact with the boy they found so odd. Perhaps they even sighed a breath of relief that he was no longer at home. I don't know.

He was also a college student, far away from his family influence. But even his roommates, who saw him as so odd, didn't seem to find him particularly threatening. There seems to be a conflict here - those who thought him weird but not dangerous, and those who saw him as both. Why did these groups not put their heads together to decide what to do in case something went wrong? Those who attempted to have him committed seem to have been rebuffed, from what I understand.

Why did he snap? Maybe we will never know. I know he was a victim of bullying in middle school. To which I reply, WE ALL WERE. GET OVER IT. I know that's harsh, and I know it is tough for a new student from a foreign country to come in and be accepted. Middle schoolers are vicious and hateful as they sort out their hierarchy. High schoolers can be too.

But by all accounts people who DID reach out to him were rebuffed. So his attempt to blame everyone else for his actions falls far short of reality. Who hasn't seen the class wars and fallen on the wrong side of them? Who hasn't watched some people get handed everything and seen themselves with nothing? Who hasn't, at least for a moment, loathed someone else becaused she was prettier, he was better at sports, she was great at theater, he was a math whiz? We have all envied, and despised, and dare I say it hated. It is part of the human condition.

But we have not killed because of it. We may indulge in violent video games or loud music (my weakness for dealing with anger). Maybe we've taken up a contact sport or thrown ourselves into a passion or a hobby. But we've dealt with it. He did not.

Make no mistake, Cho was crazy. Not just mentally ill; I think there is a serious difference between coping with a mental illness, and doing something so immeasurably hateful and sick as gunning down students and staff, many of whom had probably never seen him before in their lives. You can even argue, and probably successfully, that he was evil. I would certainly believe it. When people tried to befriend or even talk to him, he took the road of what he probably thought to be long suffering martyrdom in his behavior - snubbing them in return, then blaming them for his acts of violence.

And so we will now spend years discussing the 32 innocent people who died at his hand. To me, that's the hardest part. Call me callous, but I'd rather read about the man I loathe who killed them and his reasons for doing it, because it stirs anger in me, than to read about the people whose lives were cut short, which stirs pain and fear and utter deep sadness in me. I, like many, grieve for those lost, and grief is a wearing feeling, sometimes too heavy to bear.

So where do we go now? It seems that just about everyone who saw in Cho's previous actions the signs of an unwell mind spoke up - yet no one actually did the one thing that would have saved 32 victims - committed a psychotic individual. How did he slip through the cracks? Indeed, how do they all?

We can start by crushing bullying in schools. Children want to find out where they fit on the social ladder; that much is inescapable. But teachers can watch closely for the playing out of the hierarchy and deal with it swiftly, ignoring the indignance of parents who only see the halo on their child, not the devil horns that may, from time to time, hold it up. Every child wears them at one time or another. Not allowing it in the classroom can be a start. And that requires the support of parents and administrators too.

But teachers are given far too much responsibility, I'm aware, when it comes to raising children. Where are parents in this equation? Are kids under too much pressure? Not enough? I don't know the answer to that. But I know expecting teachers to solve the problem single-handedly is ridiculous. They see your child five hours a week. You should see your child far more than that, and know what that child is doing and thinking. You should be in touch with your child, even when they go away to school. And you should trust that a teacher may see a side to your child that you may not, and give their suggestions serious thought. That might help to nip some of this social anger in the bud.

We also need to take better care of those obviously in need of mental help. Instead, we toss the mentally ill out on the streets, where many scrounge to survive, not able to afford medication, or not under any pressure to take their medications if they do have them. In Michigan several years ago we closed several mental hospitals. What good, exactly, did that do? Some people cannot survive in society at large. They should not be on the streets where they can harm others or themselves. Many don't understand the difference between right and wrong or are incapable of handling that sort of decision. We should put more money into this side of health care, while telling the drug lobbies to shut up for five minutes while we deal with our citizens in need. Health care is a disaster (a blog for another time) and because of it everyone suffers.

But Cho's problems may also have come from home in a way where the answers are tougher to come by. His writing hinted at sexual abuse. If only he had had the courage (something he was clearly lacking in all areas of his life) to report the person who may have abused him. Perhaps his culture did not allow that. I don't know. But had he taken other actions to deal with his rage and hate then perhaps he would have found an existence he could live with. Even perhaps if he could not have lived with it, he could take his own life and leave the innocents alone. Harsh, yes, I realize that. But to cause pain to others because of your own pain is childish and sociopathic, not righting any wrongs. Of course I don't advocate suicide. But my anger also wonders why the middle man was necessary. Go straight to the endgame, spare the innocents, and deal with yourself. If you can no longer bear to live, let those of us who enjoy our lives to continue with them. Leave your manifesto if you need to, to share your message. Killing others as revenge for real or perceived social wrongs brands you only as a killer, not as a martyr.

So for this child (not a man, by any stretch) I feel pity and disgust, and for his victims and their families, and his family as well, the deepest sympathy and my profound sadness.

Let this be the last of these stories any of us ever have to read.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

To the Writers of 24

Dear Writers on the hit show 24:

Although I've been a fan of your program since the first season, I have to say you are starting to tread some very familiar ground, and not in a particularly good way. And so, with that in mind, I have some humble suggestions - some mine, and some culled from other fans - that I think you should heed to give your show a fresh perspective.

1. Enough with the moles already. Every season has someone as a mole inside CTU. Now, isn't this supposed to be the Counter Terrorist Unit? Doesn't everybody have to be vetted or something before they can be hired? If you can't even police your own staff, how do we expect you to save the world?

2. Stop treating the women on this show like crap. Every season a woman is the mole, or is suspected of being the mole, and is tortured as part of the investigation. Or she's killed off in some horrifying fashion. Or she gets herself caught in a cougar trap. (Okay, that was just Kim.) Or she's dumb. (That's Kim too.) The only strong women are evil or whiners, or dead. Can we find somebody who is none of the above? We had her in Teri and Michelle, just to name two. Yep, they're pushing up daisies. Oh wait, we do have the softer, gentler Chloe. See corollary below.

3. Put the old brusque Chloe in the field or some other socially awkward situation. One of the show's funniest moments came when she Tasered the guy in the bar who wouldn't leave her alone. Softer kinder Chloe isn't getting any of her whipcrack line reading moments. This season she's just another CTU agent, albeit in a cute dress. Booooorrrrrringg.

4. Give Jack a female partner. Well, you had to kill off Tony, and Ricky Schroeder ain't cutting it. Any reason why a tough chick couldn't pick up a .45 and follow Jack into the field? She doesn't even need to be a love interest, although some crackling sexual tension would give this show a fun jolt. Jack's field partners always tend to be men in their 30s and sometimes they end up dead too. None of them have had much spark on screen. Except Tony. And he's six feet under. Man, I miss you, Tony.

5. Skip the President altogether. Nobody is going to be David Palmer. On the other side of the coin, nobody is going to be Charles Logan. Can we just write the Presidential character out of this storyline for a season and see how it goes? We've pretty much done all the personality combinations possible, and if we can find someone else for Jack to play off of, that would be fresh and interesting. I don't know who that would be, that's why they pay you the big bucks. I'm just a chick with a laptop.

6. Get out of LA. LA has seen every imaginable disaster. Let's go somewhere else, make use of another city. Bring some freakin' variety to the setting, for heaven's sake. If I were living in LA, by now I would have moved to the East Coast, after everything that has ever happened there. In fact, I would feel downright cursed. I mean, what's so special about LA anyway? Except for the fact that Tool wrote a song about sinking the whole thing into the sea.

7. Give Jack something to agonize over. He had a failing marriage in season 1, and his concern for his wife and child drove him. Season 5 could have been really something, as Jack tries to recover from years of captivity in China. But by now, he looks fine to me. I'd rather see him really wrestling with what he faces. Nobody does gun-toting badass like Keifer Sutherland, but can't he do more than shout while pointing a weapon at someone?

8. Suspending disbelief is one thing; going against human nature is another altogether. A nuclear bomb just went off in LA. But everybody is walking around like just another weekday. Huh?? Why aren't we seeing news helicopter shots of crowded freeways as people leave town? Hospitals swamped with radiation victims? Looting at area stores? Business as usual just doesn't cut it when a nuke went off near a big city. People would PANIC.

9. Speaking of which, where's the media? They're going to be all over this. But yet, they're not. In fact, we've hardly seen them at all as the seasons go on. Give the media a prominent role. And for heaven's sake, don't cast them as villains. That's SO been done.

10. Great casting makes all the difference. Powers Boothe is a coup. James Cromwell can do creepy and nice without breaking a sweat. Gregory Itzin and Jean Smart were so robbed of Emmy awards that I'm surprised police didn't rush the stage at the show when it was clear they weren't taking home a trophy. And nobody, but nobody, sounded more presidential than Dennis Haysbert. But then we have Ricky Schroeder, looking more like Silver Spoons than NYPD Blue. Showkiller Eric Balfour, as Milo, has come back after his last zillion series failed. And I can't even tell you anything about the chick who plays Nadia. You've had some great casting and some not so great casting. Stick with the great. Weed out the 'who?' group. (While I'm on it, why in the world didn't you cast Regina King as the President? If I wanna kick terrorist ass, I'd hire her. She's so underused this season, I don't even want to know how often her agent chews you out.)

There you go, ten suggestions to help make the show better. Thanks, and I'll keep watching this season, but just so you know, I'm starting to see fins in the water, and somebody is handing me water skiis.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Lovely Weather

Yesterday was one of those days when you could smell the damp earth finally, the sun melting the last of the ice from the parking lot (and the rooftops, I hear from the facilities manager at work). I walked out to my car at the end of the day actually far too warm in my trench, even with the stiff breeze. I finally feel like spring is here.

Today it's been rainy, but I did get a chance to take my lunchtime walk outside instead of underground. As I left my building I could smell fresh pine from the trees in the courtyard, and a cheeky squirrel or two was busy digging up the nuts from the fall before (I swear one fat one was gloating). I enjoyed the walk even though it was so cloudy, because I could smell the coming rain and the breeze was fresh.

Even when it's gloomy, it's more bearable with warm weather.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Whaddya Want With My Hand Anyway?

I'm going to post this knowing people are going to think I am abso-frickin-lutely nuts.

Then again, I probably shouldn't tell you that I've been blogging with the SnObs again, looking at more pictures (Rap sent me a great headshot of evil Krycek, and it's NICE) and now I'm listening to an old high school friend's online radio broadcast, known as Short Bus Radio. ("Superfreak" is on right now.)

But on to the topic. Whenever somebody I know gets engaged, they tell me how their fiance went to their dad and asked his permission. I think my brother did it for his fiancee. And I always get all excited and say "That's so sweet!" and 'aw' a lot. And I really truly mean it.

But I wouldn't want somebody to do it for me.

Now before I explain why, let's get something straight. I'm not in any way saying how I feel about the practice being done for me means I feel that way about someone else having done it or it being done for them. I never have this train of thought when it happens to somebody else. It's sweet and respectful, and I'm usually just so happy for the person that they are getting married. In other words, I totally get and go along with the societal situation without a second thought.

But again, I wouldn't want somebody to do it for me.

That's because I'm not somebody's 'anything' to 'give away' at this age. I've been my own woman for a very long time, so asking my dad for his 'permission' doesn't really fit. I don't belong to him. Now, not to say my dad wouldn't be thrilled - maybe he would - if somebody asked him, but at my age I'd rather we announced it as a pair, as partners. I especially wouldn't like it if my fiance-to-be did this without telling me first he was going to do it. He should be discussing all of this with me first, plain and simple.

Now, would my dad walk me down the aisle and 'give me away'? Yes. So why don't I go with the one tradition but go with the other? I don't have an answer for that.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Comments Update

So if you've tried to post comments and they haven't worked, I think I know why, and I believe I've changed the setting successfully. So give it a try. I still have to moderate all comments so it'll be a bit before that comes up, but at least you won't be shut out anymore!!

Cool Website

I promise you I'm not getting any endorsement money from this site when I say it is probably the coolest T-shirt website I have seen in a long time.

It's called Cafe Press (www.cafepress.com) and from what I gather, it's a site for t-shirt makers to post their designs (so I don't know how reliable it is, but some fellow bloggers have reported success). Then you can order the design you want on any number of types of shirts or sweatshirts, in men's, women's and children's styles. And maybe you can get a calendar, mug or mousepad too.

The best part about it is you can find something about every single tv show out there (and maybe more, I haven't gotten that far yet). For example, I stumbled onto the Joss Whedon pages and discovered so much Firefly and Buffy stuff I am still debating what I want. (One shirt I'm seriously considering says "Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers" - a line Faith says to Buffy). Or Firefly-themed shirts that say, "Wash Lives" or "I Aim to Misbehave" or "Browncoats". And of course I did find horse-related shirts, many of which talk about Smarty Jones, which I thought was kind of odd, but there you are.

Anyway, just a suggestion, if you're looking for something pop-culture cool.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

More Rambling

So I went back to last week's Prison Break just to watch Michael hit Kim with the car a second time, and watch Linc kick the crap out of him. I really like the show right now; now that Sarah has joined the brothers the stakes seem to have raised, but I will miss Kellerman with them, since he's something of a loose cannon. Now, Sucre and MariCruz should get to escape scot-free, C-Note should get some sort of real justice this time, and T-Bag should just run around being T-Bag. The creepy version.

Two of the coolest names in music today: Lupe Fiasco and Sully Erna.

I have been watching so much Supernatural and talking about it so much on line I have been having dreams with the show in it. Veronica Mars was in one of them - she and Sam knew each other from way back and were good friends. The second involved a bunch of people (say, hundreds) trapped in my parents' church, and there was a black fog around the building that would kill you if you went outside. Sam and Dean were helping me figure out how to fight the fog but eventually they disappeared (but not before I got all cranky with a bunch of teeny boppers who were following Dean around because I didn't want to admit I had a crush on him myself). Then the fog lifted, and a caravan of vehicles (part of some business or group) decided to leave, and I tried to stop them, and the minute they went outside, the fog descended and devoured them, and I knew we had to wait until sunrise to escape. I even tried to use a speaker system in the kitchen area to warn everyone but I couldn't get it to work.

Sarah is now laughing her ass off that I had a dream about church. I hear you, snap!!! ;-)
While you're there, apologize to your father for my dirty mouth. I'm sure he's learned a lot more about me than he intended reading this blog! ("She's looking at half-naked pictures of actors online???")

I've been having a really hard time keeping up with all the Derby preps this year. Most aren't being shown on TV - only the biggies are - so I have to find them online. But you only get that little tiny screen, and one of the things I like to watch is jockey body language - how they move their hands and arms, how they're sitting, what they're doing with their legs and feet - and it's hard to see that on the little picture. Plus it's a lot harder to gauge a horse's stride. And what really tees me off is I can't download the videos for posterity. Argh!!

Spring got up and walked off. It's been sleeting here for the last 36 hours. It woke me up last night, it was so loud on the windowpanes. I played 'bear' today and hibernated. Well, I did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen (mostly), caught up on Derby preps and podcasts, and organized my recycling. And of course caught up on all the TV from last week that I missed. (I love 'Midsomer Murders' on Biography!)

But I'm not watching the Oscars. I'll just get the red carpet report and the winners tomorrow (I almost wrote whiners, and not on purpose). Gives me a break from that project. I can't believe it's almost Monday already. :-(

My question to you is, what is the essential classic rock soundtrack? I mean, if you were burning a CD of the best classic rock of all time, what would you include? The only requirement is it must open with AC/DC's Back In Black. (Long story. Long fangirl story. Somewhere I hear Rap, Hoggle, Sukayro, Skye, Arafel and a host of other SnObs laughing at me.)

Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I Just Wanna Ramble

I don't know what I want to talk about today. So I'm gonna ramble.

What the &^*% is up with Britney Spears? I gotta say I'm so over whatever that girl does now, except I do worry about her kids. When you start making Kevin Federline look responsible, it's time to check into rehab. AND STAY THERE.

I just got done watching Supernatural's "Asylum" from last season, and it totally made me think about all those episodes of Ghost Hunters where they investigate creepy old asylums. Whoever did the set has obviously seen those episodes too.

That project at work is kicking my ass. Now my 'editors' want me to avoid using pronouns in a section that they want written in the third person. In other words, I shouldn't use 'he' or 'she' to be gender neutral, I should use a general term. In the interest of saving my job, I'll say 'the shopper.' Um, how long do you think it's going to be before THAT gets old? "The shopper should be certain to pick a color that is flattering to the shopper, and the shopper should then use the credit card with the least amount of the shopper's debt on it." I'm exaggerating, but you get my point.

I don't get those people who say that Lost isn't as good now as it used to be. I think it's just as good now as it's ever been, except for maybe the initial heady beginning when we were just figuring things out. I'm taping tonight's ep (a fabulous martini left me sleepy) and looking forward to it for tomorrow. I'm a sucker for TV that makes you pay attention and think. Hence, the reason I'm skipping the "How to Become the Next Pussycat Doll" or whatever they're calling it on the CW. That's just sad.

How hilarious was it on Prison Break when Michael hit Kim with the car? I stood up and yelled. Then Linc kicked the crap out of him. I yelled some more. Then Sara locked Kellerman out of the car, and I yelled again. Then I wondered if we'd have to see Kellerman in a suit again because honestly I think he's sexier in jeans. Just a thought.

I have absolutely NO life. I drink with my coworkers once in a while. I gotta find something to get involved with. If I could find a TV watchers society, I would be good.

May 1 is going to be one of the best days of the year. Both Rush and Tori Amos are putting out albums that day. Whatever did I do to please the music gods??? Whatever it was, I'll keep doing it.

Today was one of those days when I was walking outside that I could almost smell spring. That, to me, is that earthy smell you get when the ground is starting to thaw, and when you take a deep breath everything smells fresh and new. I love that smell, and it could never be bottled. Plus the sun was shining. (That made up for a very annoying doctor's visit.) I could take a dozen more days like this. It certainly makes walking to and from my car easier to bear, and maybe I'll take some lunchtime walks outside. Get my Vitamin D or something.

This is the first year I don't think I'm going to watch the Oscars. It's because I just don't care. I haven't been in a movie mood for a while now, and frankly not much out there has been appealing to me. (I do need to see 'Dreamgirls' but that's about it.) I might watch the red carpet to see who wears what but I don't think I'll watch much else of it. That's rare; normally I try to watch the show. But I've finally gotten it through my thick skull that a lot of the movies that are recognized by Oscar really don't resonate with me in any way. (That's not true of EVERY movie, but a lot of them.) It's usually heavy-handed depressing tripe. Somebody usually dies in a heart-wrenching way. I mean, that's what it feels like. I just have no interest in most of the movies nominated for anything. When am I going to run out and rent "Letters from Iwo Jima?" Or "Notes on a Scandal"? Oscar doesn't always know how just to have a good time. I suppose that's what the People's Choice awards are for?

I do love me the dresses though; I can't help that. I have my princess fantasy that someday I'll get to wear a fabulous dress like that and get my picture taken and have people talk about how lovely I looked.

Then I wake up.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Somewhere I Went All Fangirl

So, do you remember the post I put out talking about the enthusiastic Supernatural bloggers on TV Guide.com?

Guess what? I'm now one of them.

I don't know where or when it happened. Probably when I started getting feedback for my comments, or when we started making X-Files references, or when 'smilineyes' sent me a link to a picture of one of the actors naked in bed - carefully covered of course.

I accused her of trying to kill me, and then I went to take a cold shower.

True, I keep my gushing to a minimum, generally. That's not because of the other bloggers; that's my natural reaction to any male a bunch of women are effusive about. I tend to seek out the less sought-after male, assuming, of course, that in real life there would be less competition for him. (I am terribly good at self-analysis.) I don't know why I don't gush much with this crowd - we're all in agreement, we're all between 27-45 (or so I've gathered) - older than the most of the actors, in fact - and of course because we're talking about actors, we have less than the snowball's chance in hell of ever meeting them, much less indulging in our wildest dreams, so a few fantasies are downright harmless. And one of 'em has been on my Meal Plan for quite a while anyway. In fact, I did this very thing with the X-Files. So it's not like I'm not right there with 'em.

In fact, read my posts, and I'm there a lot. Especially while I'm wading through this annoying-as-hell project that is taxing my brain and my patience. (Writing by committee is enough to make you want to hurl your computer monitor at the next person who thinks an introduction to a training video for the public should include an explanation of federal law.)

I'm even considering buying a t-shirt I found online that features the series' extremely sexy car - a 67 black Impala, known to fans as the Metallicar. (The back says "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.")

When did I go all fangirl? WHEN, I ASK YOU? We're even reviewing Season 1 on DVD during the spring hiatus that lasts a month, all online. I've never met these people, although at least one is from Michigan.

But I'm having too much fun to quit now.

So why do I feel a little guilty about it? I guess I feel like I should be above such things (I picture the Kasey Kahne ads as I write this)...but I am woman, I have pulse, I like hot men in hot cars playing Rush tunes and other classic rock. So what is there to be 'above'? (You may insert joke here.) Nothing! I guess I should just indulge my little addiction, and not worry that feeling a little like a giddy teenager from time to time is a bad thing. This is normal, I keep telling myself. And harmless. And brightens my day.

(What is normal, though, for a single woman who lives at home with her cat and constantly adjusts a list of the five famous guys she finds hottest at any one moment? Okay, that's not helping my argument.)

Anyway, I'm not putting down any of the other bloggers - not by any stretch. (I was hard on them earlier, and true, I don't always agree with them, but I've rather grown to like them. So I guess I should have just taken a pill.) They're having a good time and they really look at this show closely, so they show me things I missed. (I wish the Lost bloggers did this but they don't.) And it's a good show - mislabeled as a 'teen' show, but it's actually put together really well, it's scary, it talks a lot about family, and it does carry something of an X-Files vibe. And these bloggers often put a big grin on my face, more often than not, in fact.

I guess I just need to acknowledge my fangirl side, enjoy the show, enjoy the other bloggers - they're really nice people online; none of the other shows have bloggers as insightful or friendly (even when, yes, they occasionally get gushy) - and really consider getting that shirt. All of it guilt-free.

But first I have to go back to the Season 1 DVD. CindyRose is reviewing 'Route 666' this week, and as I recall, one of the upcoming episodes features one of the brothers in a towel.