I got a new vacuum for Christmas and just put it together. My brother and his wife had gotten a Bissell as a wedding gift and raved about it so my folks bought me one designed for pet hair. I just put it together and took it for a spin down the hallway, which I just vacuumed not too long ago. ('Not too long ago' in my lexicon is 'within the past three weeks'.)
You would NOT believe the pet hair and people hair this new vacuum sucked up. I know you think it's gross that I would even tell you, but seriously, isn't there something of a fascinating ick factor here? (After all, it is my hair, and the cat's hair, which is all significantly less gross to me than someone else's mess would be.) Anyway, this new vacuum propels itself - I was kind of afraid it might take off on me in a wild spree, a la the brooms in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice' - and it really almost does make vacuuming fun, as my SIL said it would.
I'm also seriously interested in what else will come up when I get the living room cleaned up and can take the Bissell for a spin there.
Ew. And yet....coooooolll...
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Darwinism at its Finest
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601103&sid=aDd0dqDLi8nM&refer=us
Let me let you in on a little secret. If you tease the tiger by climbing into its pen, and it finally retaliates and kills you, it's not the tiger's fault.
So don't blame the freakin' zoo, you idiot.
If you tempt nature, and it kicks your ass, I'm on nature's side 100%.
Let me let you in on a little secret. If you tease the tiger by climbing into its pen, and it finally retaliates and kills you, it's not the tiger's fault.
So don't blame the freakin' zoo, you idiot.
If you tempt nature, and it kicks your ass, I'm on nature's side 100%.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Halp! Said the snowflake
When I went to bed last night, there was a light covering of snow. When I got up this morning, there's almost a foot drifted on my balcony and several inches on the cars below in the parking lot. I am so glad I am not driving anywhere today. I am still in my pajamas.
I tried to go to my niece's birthday party yesterday; parts of my county were fine, but the further north I went the slipperier the highway was, until I finally bailed about 1/3 of the way into the trip (knowing I would either have to come back that night, and that didn't sound good, or come back the next day, when we were all buried in snow). I can give her her present at Christmas. But I still feel like a bad aunt.
But it was either that or struggle on the highway there and back or miss work Monday. And after I saw a truck rolled over on the other side of hte highway in the drifting snow, I decided to call it a day.
I tried to go to my niece's birthday party yesterday; parts of my county were fine, but the further north I went the slipperier the highway was, until I finally bailed about 1/3 of the way into the trip (knowing I would either have to come back that night, and that didn't sound good, or come back the next day, when we were all buried in snow). I can give her her present at Christmas. But I still feel like a bad aunt.
But it was either that or struggle on the highway there and back or miss work Monday. And after I saw a truck rolled over on the other side of hte highway in the drifting snow, I decided to call it a day.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Another Gem
I know I've been a bit of a grump lately. There's just so much going on in my head, it's kind of full. I could explain it, but it wouldn't make much sense to you. Or it would sound silly. So...a little bit of joy.
I'm at home watching 'Mary Poppins', which I taped off ABC Family last night only to recall today that I actually have that movie on VHS. Oh well.
How can you not love this movie? The music is fantastic, the animation with live action was before its time and the leads are charismatic. Dick Van Dyke is actually kind of adorkable, and Juie Andrews is exquisitely lovely. Plus it's just fun. I could sing 'Chim Chim Cheree' all day.
Besides, how can you not love a musical that includes a line that goes, "Although we adore men individually, we agree that as a group, they're rather stuuuuuupid" ?? :-D
I'm at home watching 'Mary Poppins', which I taped off ABC Family last night only to recall today that I actually have that movie on VHS. Oh well.
How can you not love this movie? The music is fantastic, the animation with live action was before its time and the leads are charismatic. Dick Van Dyke is actually kind of adorkable, and Juie Andrews is exquisitely lovely. Plus it's just fun. I could sing 'Chim Chim Cheree' all day.
Besides, how can you not love a musical that includes a line that goes, "Although we adore men individually, we agree that as a group, they're rather stuuuuuupid" ?? :-D
Sunday, December 09, 2007
One of Life's Little Niceties
Is there anything nicer than getting into a newly-made bed? Clean crisp sheets that still smell a little like fabric softener (which I happen to find very comforting and homey), blankets that haven 't yet been yanked this way and that - I get too warm and kick blankets off, then get too cold and yank blankets back on - pillows with fresh pillowcases. And a distinct lack of cat hair, which will be remedied in no time.
Just a little something worth appreciating.
Just a little something worth appreciating.
Some Television Rambling
Most of you know I happen to like my TV on, and it's generally on regardless of what I'm doing. This morning while I was reading the paper and catching up on the circulars (I love to see what's for sale even if I have no intention of going shopping) I turned on CMT's 'Crossroads' because a couple of my friends raved about it, and I'm watching LeAnn Rimes and Joss Stone really tear it up. (Plus, it's nice that it's a show I can listen to instead of actually having to watch intently.) They both have such incredible voices, and while their musical styles are entirely different, they really mesh well together. I saw a video once of a song Martina McBride and Pat Benatar did, and I wish I'd seen that show.
Earlier today I caught up on last week's Men In Trees. Well, parts of it. I skip all of the parts except the ones with Pastor Eric in them. (X-Files fans will recognize my favorite villain in the role, and he's such a doll in this part I just get all gooey watching it. Really. Goo.) I want one just like that. Except for the celibacy part. Well, and I don't see myself actually dating a pastor. But you get my point. He's freakin' adorable.
I've been catching up, a little, on Battlestar Galactica - SciFi replayed some of S3 (my shorthand for Season Three) and it's been nice to watch one of those and get a little caught up on the storyline. (So they don't talk about the other five models of Cylon? Really?) It's a little tough to fill in the blanks between episodes; I'm reading synopses of the episodes they're not showing so I know what's going on. It's so intense, and I love hearing the dialogue - well-written dialogue just brings me to my knees, really - and seeing how the characters have been written - how they take even the smallest part and it's written so well you never feel short-changed on backstory or find yourself not buying what the show's selling. So yeah, I don't just watch TV, I really LOOK at it - how were the characters written? What's the language like? ('Firefly' is a great example of excellent language - meshing today's language with that of the old west and the future - man, is that well done.)
Plus I'm catching up on The 4400; Isabelle is wreaking havoc wherever she can to keep Shawn by her side and nobody but Tom is taking her threat seriously. And Tom's girlfriend just left to keep herself safe from prosecution. This show has the weirdest premise, yet it's all so seamless and it always feels real to me, even when it wanders off into something quite unreal.
And while all this is going on, I'm cleaning house, wrapping presents, reading the paper, doing dishes, writing Christmas cards, that kind of thing. Sometimes if I want to watch something AND get something done, I'll let a taped program run instead of fast-forwarding through commercials, and clean house during ads. Today I just downed a high-caffiene tea and I expect to get a lot done! This house is kind of a mess - I finished most of my Christmas shopping yesterday - and I'm ready to tackle some wrapping! Wahoo!
Maybe I should get out of my jammies first?
Earlier today I caught up on last week's Men In Trees. Well, parts of it. I skip all of the parts except the ones with Pastor Eric in them. (X-Files fans will recognize my favorite villain in the role, and he's such a doll in this part I just get all gooey watching it. Really. Goo.) I want one just like that. Except for the celibacy part. Well, and I don't see myself actually dating a pastor. But you get my point. He's freakin' adorable.
I've been catching up, a little, on Battlestar Galactica - SciFi replayed some of S3 (my shorthand for Season Three) and it's been nice to watch one of those and get a little caught up on the storyline. (So they don't talk about the other five models of Cylon? Really?) It's a little tough to fill in the blanks between episodes; I'm reading synopses of the episodes they're not showing so I know what's going on. It's so intense, and I love hearing the dialogue - well-written dialogue just brings me to my knees, really - and seeing how the characters have been written - how they take even the smallest part and it's written so well you never feel short-changed on backstory or find yourself not buying what the show's selling. So yeah, I don't just watch TV, I really LOOK at it - how were the characters written? What's the language like? ('Firefly' is a great example of excellent language - meshing today's language with that of the old west and the future - man, is that well done.)
Plus I'm catching up on The 4400; Isabelle is wreaking havoc wherever she can to keep Shawn by her side and nobody but Tom is taking her threat seriously. And Tom's girlfriend just left to keep herself safe from prosecution. This show has the weirdest premise, yet it's all so seamless and it always feels real to me, even when it wanders off into something quite unreal.
And while all this is going on, I'm cleaning house, wrapping presents, reading the paper, doing dishes, writing Christmas cards, that kind of thing. Sometimes if I want to watch something AND get something done, I'll let a taped program run instead of fast-forwarding through commercials, and clean house during ads. Today I just downed a high-caffiene tea and I expect to get a lot done! This house is kind of a mess - I finished most of my Christmas shopping yesterday - and I'm ready to tackle some wrapping! Wahoo!
Maybe I should get out of my jammies first?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
A Case of Being Too Fussy?
Since this has been on my mind lately, I thought it would be fun, enlightening and maybe a little frightening to list what it is I'm looking for in my perfect guy. Then you can tell me I'm being too fussy. Everybody inevitably does.
He must be a non-smoker. That's non-negotiable. I hate the way it smells and tastes. And why kill yourself a step at a time?
He must be a non-hunter. Another non-negotiable. Killing for fun, not my idea of a good time. Better yet, he should be an animal lover. That's too much a part of who I am.
Another non-negotiable - He must have a job. Or be in school to get a good job, not just in school to avoid working. And have a vehicle. And a place to live that does not involve his parents. In short, he's independent. He does not in any way have to be rich - I'd rather that he wasn't, I would never survive in that world - but my ideal guy (yes, perfect scenario) would have some cash and manage his money well, just so that we're not struggling (I've done that already, thanks). It would even better if he knew more about money than I do. At the very least, he's not an idiot with his money and is getting by. And he's not cheap. He tips well, and enjoys his money. He saves some and spends some, he doesn't hoard it.
I'm not particularly fussy over whether he's blond or brunet or what. (I'm into the tall, dark, and handsome look these days - Pastor Eric or Samuel Anders on my telly - but that's not a hard and fast rule.) I like a really nice friendly smile, though. A nice guy face.
I'm not saying he's got to be movie-star handsome. That's intimidating. Sure, it'd be swell if he was kind of good-looking without being pretty or arrogant. But good looking comes in a lot of forms. Nice guys get better and better looking the more you get to know them, while jerks get uglier. It's a fact. But I'm honest enough to say if I don't find him at least a little attractive, uh, I'm not going there. Sorry, it is what it is.
He doesn't have to be a six-pack stud - that's an ideal I can't live up to. But he's got to take care of himself to some degree. I'm not perfect physically and I don't expect anybody else to be either - not that it wouldn't be nice (she says with a knowing grin) but I'm not getting involved with a slob who doesn't give a crap about what he looks like or if he's taking care of himself - and by that I mean, not sitting around 24-7, never exercising at all, or doing anything physical. I'm not 100 pounds, but nor am I getting involved with anybody who is obese. It's another way of killing yourself slowly.
On the other hand, he doesn't mind my sloppy Saturdays and I don't mind his, where we schlup around in comfy pants and watch movies.
The perfect guy is just tall enough that when he hugs me, I fit in under his chin. And he gives good hugs.
He's got a good sense of humor without being a joker or a nut. He in no way needs to be the center of attention, and he doesn't belittle me for entertainment or play practical jokes for laughs.
He's very patient, especially with me.
He's calm and together without being smug, and isn't afraid sometimes to admit that he's angry or scared or unsure. I know a guy to whom everything is a piece of cake. It comes off as though he's just that much smarter than the rest of us, and it's annoying. I want someone who is human. Who has flaws. But I don't want a guy with a hair-trigger temper. Nor do I want someone who is impulsive. Spontaneous yes, but that's different. I'm too much of a thinker, so he's got to balance me out somewhat, but if he just makes decisions without considering his options or thinking about his choices, mistakes get made.
He's honest. Duh.
He treats me really well. But he doesn't try to idealize me or put me on a pedestal that I can't live up to. I don't need to be spoiled. I need to be treated like he finds me special and appreciates me. One guy I dated would spoil me if it looked good. I don't think it had anything to do with me.
He'll stick up for me if somebody is picking on me or harassing me. Not that that happens often, but you kind of want a guy who is going to tell another guy at the bar to lay off - and who is going to be just intimidating-looking enough to pull it off without starting a brawl or getting his ass handed to him on a platter.
He doesn't mind kids and he's good with them, but he doesn't want any. He's got a good family structure or wants one, without being disturbingly close to his mother. Or sister.
He's reasonably smart. He doesn't have to have a college degree necessarily but I want someone I can really talk to about abstract concepts and current events, as well as stupid stuff.
I would love it if he was a good cook, as I am not.
He wants to work at the relationship, to communicate, to work with me through my issues. He doesn't expect me to be perfect either, but he's got to be better at this than I am. I want to be better, I just don't have the experience.
He's not terribly religious. I'm not, and I don't see myself with someone who is.
He's socially liberal.
It would be great if he had some of the following interests: horse racing (uh, yeah), television, traveling, sports, music, creativity. He is in no way required to scrapbook. *grin* But he's got to support my varied hobbies and tastes.
He likes board games, or at least is willing to play. That's big with my family. He likes big noisy family gatherings and nights with friends as well as nights alone. Maybe he's not the most talkative person in the room, but he's easy-going, gets along with people, and best of all, likes the people I like.
Yeah, I'm asking a lot. But this is the ideal, remember. The perfect scenario. There are probably a million other things that I could specify too, I suppose, but well, this is what I've come up with now. What are your ideals?
He must be a non-smoker. That's non-negotiable. I hate the way it smells and tastes. And why kill yourself a step at a time?
He must be a non-hunter. Another non-negotiable. Killing for fun, not my idea of a good time. Better yet, he should be an animal lover. That's too much a part of who I am.
Another non-negotiable - He must have a job. Or be in school to get a good job, not just in school to avoid working. And have a vehicle. And a place to live that does not involve his parents. In short, he's independent. He does not in any way have to be rich - I'd rather that he wasn't, I would never survive in that world - but my ideal guy (yes, perfect scenario) would have some cash and manage his money well, just so that we're not struggling (I've done that already, thanks). It would even better if he knew more about money than I do. At the very least, he's not an idiot with his money and is getting by. And he's not cheap. He tips well, and enjoys his money. He saves some and spends some, he doesn't hoard it.
I'm not particularly fussy over whether he's blond or brunet or what. (I'm into the tall, dark, and handsome look these days - Pastor Eric or Samuel Anders on my telly - but that's not a hard and fast rule.) I like a really nice friendly smile, though. A nice guy face.
I'm not saying he's got to be movie-star handsome. That's intimidating. Sure, it'd be swell if he was kind of good-looking without being pretty or arrogant. But good looking comes in a lot of forms. Nice guys get better and better looking the more you get to know them, while jerks get uglier. It's a fact. But I'm honest enough to say if I don't find him at least a little attractive, uh, I'm not going there. Sorry, it is what it is.
He doesn't have to be a six-pack stud - that's an ideal I can't live up to. But he's got to take care of himself to some degree. I'm not perfect physically and I don't expect anybody else to be either - not that it wouldn't be nice (she says with a knowing grin) but I'm not getting involved with a slob who doesn't give a crap about what he looks like or if he's taking care of himself - and by that I mean, not sitting around 24-7, never exercising at all, or doing anything physical. I'm not 100 pounds, but nor am I getting involved with anybody who is obese. It's another way of killing yourself slowly.
On the other hand, he doesn't mind my sloppy Saturdays and I don't mind his, where we schlup around in comfy pants and watch movies.
The perfect guy is just tall enough that when he hugs me, I fit in under his chin. And he gives good hugs.
He's got a good sense of humor without being a joker or a nut. He in no way needs to be the center of attention, and he doesn't belittle me for entertainment or play practical jokes for laughs.
He's very patient, especially with me.
He's calm and together without being smug, and isn't afraid sometimes to admit that he's angry or scared or unsure. I know a guy to whom everything is a piece of cake. It comes off as though he's just that much smarter than the rest of us, and it's annoying. I want someone who is human. Who has flaws. But I don't want a guy with a hair-trigger temper. Nor do I want someone who is impulsive. Spontaneous yes, but that's different. I'm too much of a thinker, so he's got to balance me out somewhat, but if he just makes decisions without considering his options or thinking about his choices, mistakes get made.
He's honest. Duh.
He treats me really well. But he doesn't try to idealize me or put me on a pedestal that I can't live up to. I don't need to be spoiled. I need to be treated like he finds me special and appreciates me. One guy I dated would spoil me if it looked good. I don't think it had anything to do with me.
He'll stick up for me if somebody is picking on me or harassing me. Not that that happens often, but you kind of want a guy who is going to tell another guy at the bar to lay off - and who is going to be just intimidating-looking enough to pull it off without starting a brawl or getting his ass handed to him on a platter.
He doesn't mind kids and he's good with them, but he doesn't want any. He's got a good family structure or wants one, without being disturbingly close to his mother. Or sister.
He's reasonably smart. He doesn't have to have a college degree necessarily but I want someone I can really talk to about abstract concepts and current events, as well as stupid stuff.
I would love it if he was a good cook, as I am not.
He wants to work at the relationship, to communicate, to work with me through my issues. He doesn't expect me to be perfect either, but he's got to be better at this than I am. I want to be better, I just don't have the experience.
He's not terribly religious. I'm not, and I don't see myself with someone who is.
He's socially liberal.
It would be great if he had some of the following interests: horse racing (uh, yeah), television, traveling, sports, music, creativity. He is in no way required to scrapbook. *grin* But he's got to support my varied hobbies and tastes.
He likes board games, or at least is willing to play. That's big with my family. He likes big noisy family gatherings and nights with friends as well as nights alone. Maybe he's not the most talkative person in the room, but he's easy-going, gets along with people, and best of all, likes the people I like.
Yeah, I'm asking a lot. But this is the ideal, remember. The perfect scenario. There are probably a million other things that I could specify too, I suppose, but well, this is what I've come up with now. What are your ideals?
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Busy? Oh, I Know From Busy...
I feel the need to share this because it's cracking me up!! Here's the holiday rundown and next year:
Friday: office Christmas party, at which I am to bring a white elephant gift - which is not ready to be presented yet.
Saturday: Vet visit for regular checkup for cat; holiday shopping should be finished up; Hanukkah party at friend's house
Next Saturday: Birthday party for niece, which will require overnight visit - present still to be wrapped
24th-26th: travel to visit family, Christmas, post-holiday shopping; planning of bridal shower for Charleston wedding
31st-1st: travel to visit friends for New Year's and girls' day out.
Jan 15th: presidential primary (for which work will be very busy)
Jan 19th: bridal shower/bachelorette party for cousin; requires overnight stay
Late Jan: I get older, consider mid-life crisis, realize I am still single, consider weeping copiously
March 6th-12th: Charleston visit for wedding, which is also a family vacation
First Sat in May: may or may not throw Derby party
July or Aug: must throw bridal shower/bachelorette party
Aug or Sept: wedding at which I am co-maid of honor
Oct: contract is up at work; may need to look for another job if contract not renewed
Miscellaneous: must finish wedding gifts, which are being handmade. Must finish Christmas decorating, Christmas cards, shopping and wrapping gifts; must plan bridal shower/bachelorette party; must find red shoes for Charleston wedding; must plan own part of Charleston wedding/vacation, while simultaneously organizing with all other family members; must try on dresses and generally help bride in the fall wedding in whatever way needed, as other co-maid of honor is out of state; must buy said dress, shoes, accessories, bridal shower gifts, etc; must coordinate with other bridesmaids for fall wedding, all of whom are out of town, and one of which is notoriously reticent and unreliable; must keep up with birthdays, anniversaries, children's parties, friends' events, family events, etc; must keep up with work and housework; must reorganize finances; should keep up with enjoyable hobbies like scrapbooking, cross stitch, genealogy, television and movies. And I don't even have kids.
Here's what I'm thinking: You can call me selfish, whatever you want, I honestly don't care. 2008 is going to be a really busy year, and a little bit expensive too! lol. If I have the money, I think I might just take a long weekend for myself around May or June. So...what should I do? A spa weekend? A road trip? Spend some money for something I really want? I considered going to Gainesway Farms in KY to see Afleet Alex, but that requires plane tickets or lots of driving.
I want to do something really self-indulgent, if I can afford it. I have a lot of friends who would say 'come visit!' but I'm thinking something else - yes, something that ends up being all about me and my interests. (I said you could call me selfish - I plan to be selfish.) I just don't know what I should do. Any ideas?
Friday: office Christmas party, at which I am to bring a white elephant gift - which is not ready to be presented yet.
Saturday: Vet visit for regular checkup for cat; holiday shopping should be finished up; Hanukkah party at friend's house
Next Saturday: Birthday party for niece, which will require overnight visit - present still to be wrapped
24th-26th: travel to visit family, Christmas, post-holiday shopping; planning of bridal shower for Charleston wedding
31st-1st: travel to visit friends for New Year's and girls' day out.
Jan 15th: presidential primary (for which work will be very busy)
Jan 19th: bridal shower/bachelorette party for cousin; requires overnight stay
Late Jan: I get older, consider mid-life crisis, realize I am still single, consider weeping copiously
March 6th-12th: Charleston visit for wedding, which is also a family vacation
First Sat in May: may or may not throw Derby party
July or Aug: must throw bridal shower/bachelorette party
Aug or Sept: wedding at which I am co-maid of honor
Oct: contract is up at work; may need to look for another job if contract not renewed
Miscellaneous: must finish wedding gifts, which are being handmade. Must finish Christmas decorating, Christmas cards, shopping and wrapping gifts; must plan bridal shower/bachelorette party; must find red shoes for Charleston wedding; must plan own part of Charleston wedding/vacation, while simultaneously organizing with all other family members; must try on dresses and generally help bride in the fall wedding in whatever way needed, as other co-maid of honor is out of state; must buy said dress, shoes, accessories, bridal shower gifts, etc; must coordinate with other bridesmaids for fall wedding, all of whom are out of town, and one of which is notoriously reticent and unreliable; must keep up with birthdays, anniversaries, children's parties, friends' events, family events, etc; must keep up with work and housework; must reorganize finances; should keep up with enjoyable hobbies like scrapbooking, cross stitch, genealogy, television and movies. And I don't even have kids.
Here's what I'm thinking: You can call me selfish, whatever you want, I honestly don't care. 2008 is going to be a really busy year, and a little bit expensive too! lol. If I have the money, I think I might just take a long weekend for myself around May or June. So...what should I do? A spa weekend? A road trip? Spend some money for something I really want? I considered going to Gainesway Farms in KY to see Afleet Alex, but that requires plane tickets or lots of driving.
I want to do something really self-indulgent, if I can afford it. I have a lot of friends who would say 'come visit!' but I'm thinking something else - yes, something that ends up being all about me and my interests. (I said you could call me selfish - I plan to be selfish.) I just don't know what I should do. Any ideas?
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Why Do We Even Say It?
I was reading the funnies today and one of them is in the middle of a story involving a mom dealing with her teenage daughter who is concerned with how she looks. In the last installment, the mom said, "It doesn't matter how you look, it matters what you do."
She's half right.
Of course it matters what you do. How many really good-looking people have you met who turned out to be total jerks? They sure get less attractive as they go along, don't they?
But it's absolute bullshit to say 'it doesn't matter how you look.' It ABSOLUTELY matters.
People judge you immediately by how you look. Let's look at your clothes. Is this person rich or poor? Does this person dress like I do, thus making them more relatable? Are they clean? Do their clothes fit them? Do they care about how they look?
And let's look at physical features. Do I find this person attractive? Are they thin or fat? Do I approve of how they look?
If we run around pretending looks don't matter, maybe we're aiming for that time when they really won't. But the fact is, they do. I'll admit it - I don't want to sleep with someone I don't find attractive on both levels - mentally AND physically. If he doesn't take care of himself physically - doesn't shower regularly, or is grossly overweight, or just doesn't appeal to me - that's going to cut into my attraction to him, regardless of whether he's the sweetest guy in the world.
Plus, when we tell kids that stuff doesn't matter, we're not preparing them for how it works in the real world. There are studies that say that attractive people are perceived to do better in their jobs. They get more respect, more attention, you name it. Other studies show that overweight people, on the other hand, are treated with less respect, regardless of how well they actually perform their jobs. How do YOU look at the woman who wears the Grandma Christmas sweater to work over Sansabelt pants and orthopedic shoes? Chances are you treat her totally differently than her same-age, same-job coworker who gets her hair done regularly, who carries a Coach purse and wears a suit every day over pointed-toe kitten heels.
I'm not saying we should ONLY pay attention to how people look. That's remarkably shallow, and really, in the end, it DOES matter most what you do. How many people you might call 'unattractive' or 'ugly' become more attractive to you the more you know about them? But I think we do kids a disservice by saying that stuff doesn't matter AT ALL. It's in your best interest to present your most attractive self, in work, in play, anywhere. It will help you make friends, meet people, do well at work and socially.
I'm NOT advocating living by Cosmo's rules of dressing or Elle or whatever people read. Or living by designer labels. You can do that all wrong too - and any of you who know me know that's not who I am. But I AM advocating being honest when we try to boost kids' self esteem - only for them to find out the hard way that that stuff is still going to matter once you leave the hallowed high school halls. You make the choices about how you look and how you present yourself. You can make the choice not to pursue style over comfort. But recognize it's going to affect how you are perceived, from when you are old enough to dress yourself, until you die. So will all the things you can't control - how you're built, for example. You might just get the short end of the gene stick. You can learn to make it work for you instead of pretending that 'that stuff doesn't matter.' It sure does.
And maybe there's a way we can be honest about that, without crushing kids and making them think it's just going to be like high school for the rest of their lives, or that people only want to know what they look like, not who they are or what they do. I just wish I knew how to be honest without creating more problems in the process. I just don't think we should lie to kids and say, "Hey, it doesn't matter that Sally will be a size 2 for the rest of her life and will always be hella gorgeous." That's crap. It DOES matter. She WILL be treated differently than a person who is just as smart and rich as she is, who does just as many good things as she does, but who happens to be considered by society to be less attractive. They could even wear the same labels in appropriate sizes and get their hair done the same way. Sally will 9 times out of 10 be treated better.
And to pretend any differently, is to delude ourself about how our world works.
She's half right.
Of course it matters what you do. How many really good-looking people have you met who turned out to be total jerks? They sure get less attractive as they go along, don't they?
But it's absolute bullshit to say 'it doesn't matter how you look.' It ABSOLUTELY matters.
People judge you immediately by how you look. Let's look at your clothes. Is this person rich or poor? Does this person dress like I do, thus making them more relatable? Are they clean? Do their clothes fit them? Do they care about how they look?
And let's look at physical features. Do I find this person attractive? Are they thin or fat? Do I approve of how they look?
If we run around pretending looks don't matter, maybe we're aiming for that time when they really won't. But the fact is, they do. I'll admit it - I don't want to sleep with someone I don't find attractive on both levels - mentally AND physically. If he doesn't take care of himself physically - doesn't shower regularly, or is grossly overweight, or just doesn't appeal to me - that's going to cut into my attraction to him, regardless of whether he's the sweetest guy in the world.
Plus, when we tell kids that stuff doesn't matter, we're not preparing them for how it works in the real world. There are studies that say that attractive people are perceived to do better in their jobs. They get more respect, more attention, you name it. Other studies show that overweight people, on the other hand, are treated with less respect, regardless of how well they actually perform their jobs. How do YOU look at the woman who wears the Grandma Christmas sweater to work over Sansabelt pants and orthopedic shoes? Chances are you treat her totally differently than her same-age, same-job coworker who gets her hair done regularly, who carries a Coach purse and wears a suit every day over pointed-toe kitten heels.
I'm not saying we should ONLY pay attention to how people look. That's remarkably shallow, and really, in the end, it DOES matter most what you do. How many people you might call 'unattractive' or 'ugly' become more attractive to you the more you know about them? But I think we do kids a disservice by saying that stuff doesn't matter AT ALL. It's in your best interest to present your most attractive self, in work, in play, anywhere. It will help you make friends, meet people, do well at work and socially.
I'm NOT advocating living by Cosmo's rules of dressing or Elle or whatever people read. Or living by designer labels. You can do that all wrong too - and any of you who know me know that's not who I am. But I AM advocating being honest when we try to boost kids' self esteem - only for them to find out the hard way that that stuff is still going to matter once you leave the hallowed high school halls. You make the choices about how you look and how you present yourself. You can make the choice not to pursue style over comfort. But recognize it's going to affect how you are perceived, from when you are old enough to dress yourself, until you die. So will all the things you can't control - how you're built, for example. You might just get the short end of the gene stick. You can learn to make it work for you instead of pretending that 'that stuff doesn't matter.' It sure does.
And maybe there's a way we can be honest about that, without crushing kids and making them think it's just going to be like high school for the rest of their lives, or that people only want to know what they look like, not who they are or what they do. I just wish I knew how to be honest without creating more problems in the process. I just don't think we should lie to kids and say, "Hey, it doesn't matter that Sally will be a size 2 for the rest of her life and will always be hella gorgeous." That's crap. It DOES matter. She WILL be treated differently than a person who is just as smart and rich as she is, who does just as many good things as she does, but who happens to be considered by society to be less attractive. They could even wear the same labels in appropriate sizes and get their hair done the same way. Sally will 9 times out of 10 be treated better.
And to pretend any differently, is to delude ourself about how our world works.
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