Getting Dressed

I went shopping for clothes yesterday, trying to find a top that would simultaneously work on casual Fridays at the office and for any family gathering where it was too chilly to go sleeveless, but too warm to wear long sleeves. I didn't have a whole lot of luck. Which is why I generally take people with me when I go shopping. I need to know what really does look good on me, even though I'm not so sure. I have no sense of what works or what doesn't, even after years of watching 'What Not To Wear' on TLC.

And one of my other problems is I'm often buying clothes for a couple of different 'mes'. Let me explain.

'LA' likes to wear yoga pants and tank tops, cotton shorts and concert t-shirts and Teva sandals. She's all about comfort, and you most often see her on a Saturday afternoon watching horse racing. She doesn't wear scent but prefers the smell of fabric softener and dryer sheets. (Laugh all you want, I find them comforting.)

'Anne' dresses for the office. She likes dress pants and boots, and the occasional suit, skirt or slingback. She likes crisp button down shirts and fitted jackets. She could stand to even class up a bit sometimes, even on casual Fridays. She wears scents like perfume, Japanese Cherry Blossom, Black Raspberry Vanilla and Night-Blooming Jasmine.

'Laura' goes to family events and children's birthday parties in skorts and sleeveless camp shirts, wearing nice sandals and looking wholesome and fresh. She wears Cherry Blossom, Jasmine Vanilla and Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin scents.

Then there's 'Alex.' Alex is the hell on wheels sexy version. She wants fitted boot-cut jeans and pointy-toed boots, fitted tees, leather jackets and maybe a cowboy hat from time to time. She doesn't show up very often because her venue is Saturday nights out, and there aren't many of those, so these days she lives in the imagination only. Oh, and she wears apple-scented products, along with tasty food scents, like Fantasia di Cicciolata and Creme Brulee.

So I'm often trying to dress at least four distinct personalities, sometimes more, depending on the season, location, day of the week and state of mind. Lately I've been trying to work a little Alex into the other personalities, because I've been single forever and frankly, Alex is a lot of fun. And from time to time I get tired of comfort and cuteness and being clean cut, and pretty much want to rebel (even at age 34). But I don't know how to do it right for me.

And when I don't know what else to do, I turn to what I'm used to. That means I have a lot of LA and Laura clothes, but not so many good Anne outfits and definitely very few Alex outfits.

Which is why I should never go shopping alone.

The Lion

As you probably know, I do a lot of blogging online with a small community that has, in its own unique way, become surprisingly close. Recently we started writing fiction that included each other as characters, and our stories have overlapped and gotten woven together. I have been doing some writing too, which is weird, since I don't usually post anything publicly, but I took the theme and ran with it, and have found that it's actually a lot of fun. I've been able to tap into my creative side in a way that's been dormant for a while, and I've enjoyed the supportive feedback I've gotten. (Some gals like the crackling dialogue. Imagine, me, the talker, writing about talking! ha ha ha)

There is a character that is me, by another name, and she's had some interesting adventures - fought off a headless horseman, escaped a vengeful poltergeist, been attacked by shadow people, lied to her newspaper editor in order to help fend off an apocalypse...yeah, she's been pretty busy, and not in conventional ways.

That includes meeting in some cases a handsome doctor (wouldn't my mother be proud!) who helps fend off evil and may or may not have a shady past that includes cleaning up from suspected crimes perpetrated by good people against bad (well, maybe she'd be less proud now).

Why this matters is, I started writing about that male character (not a doc in my version but an exercise rider at a major racetrack). I think a lot about my characters - get to know them as I craft them, think about how they would react to certain situations. In short, they are people to me, ones I created, but complex and layered.

In my story, my lead me-character was telling another character how well she and he got along with each other's friends and family. And then I started thinking about how this character would get along with my friends and family. I pictured him sitting at my brother's house learning to play Uno or how he might be shy around my talkative friends at first but would then open up.

And I was really wistful, you know, for somebody like that to fit into my life. Somebody who would see the best parts of me, which that character I created is, and who would want to be part of the life that I have. Would want to be close to my family. Would want to get to know my friends. Would want to come to family Christmases and travel the world and watch TV in his pajamas with me [drawstring pants, natch ;-)]. Would want to come to movie nights and play board games, and then teach me how to be braver and stronger. See things I've never seen. Take risks. Explore.

One of the gals writes a scene where the character based on me meets this doc - we turn up in a couple of stories in a couple of incarnations, all basic variations on a theme - and it practically popped off the page for me. How she shakes his hand and her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth (a peanut butter reference, however unintentional, always wins points with me) and how he smiles when he sees her, and how he has eyes like a lion's.

Wistfulness becomes an ache and a fear and a hope, all at once.

I will just keep writing.

On A Roll

Ever have one of those weekends where you feel like you got a lot accomplished? I had one of those. I took Friday off to get some stuff done, and by now, Sunday evening, I'm feeling pretty good about the whole experience. Sure, there were things that didn't get done yet, but on the whole, I feel like I accomplished what I sent out to.

I did laundry and dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned both bathrooms, started to clean the guest bedroom, organized my scrapbooking materials (found my paper cutter finally!), went shopping to get cards and gifts, mailed bills, did some writing, shredded old documents from way-back-when, planted flowers, took out all the recycling, cleaned house, caught up on season finales like Lost, had dinner with some friends, watched some racing (Rags to Riches beats the boys in the Belmont!) and slept in.

So pretty much I feel like taking Friday off was a good idea. May was so busy with family stuff that I started feeling a little behind on all those little things you know you need to do - like scrubbing the kitchen sink or washing the cat's litter box. It looks awful but it doesn't really insist on being done right away. Little things like that.

I don't know what my point was in bringing this up, I just thought I'd post that I felt pretty good going into Monday. Of course, I take my car in for repairs tomorrow so I'll be driving a loaner for a while. Oh goody! That could change my mood altogether.

I Don't Think You're Referring To Me...

One of the gals on the blog just called me 'well-adjusted.' She was laughing when she said it, so I figure she knows me better than that!

Should I call my mother and tell her somebody said I was well-adjusted?

Granted, the woman who said this to me just wrote some crackling/creepy SM-style smut fiction (I blog with some seriously interesting/warped people). So you know, take it all with a grain of salt. Connected to a tequila body shot off a hot Winchester.




How many of you did I just totally creep out?

Race Car Thoughts

I'm watching this week's IRL race while it pours outside (I'm starting to watch for animals two by two) and I got to thinking about last week's Indy 500. As you know, this is an annual tradition for my mom and aunt to watch it on TV while cheering for their drivers. This year we scrapbooked while it was going on. Well, okay, some of us did. My mom and my aunt were glued to the screen, even during the three hour rain delay.

They usually introduce the drivers before the race starts, row by row. My aunt looked at Tomas Scheckter's suit and said, "He looks like Buzz Lightyear."

The race also had three women (count 'em! Three women!) which meant that the creepy lady who gives the instructions had to say 'Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!' Danica Patrick had a great day; Sarah Fisher not so much, and Milka Duno (who seems to recognize that sex appeal is generally sorely lacking in this sport, and she's gonna supply it with panache) crashed out. But it was kick ass to have all those women in it, even if half my family thinks Danica Patrick sucks.

Well, that's harsh. My cousin doesn't like her attitude, but here's my thought: here's a gal who has been under more pressure than any female racer I know of (I don't know what Janet Guthrie went through, so I admit that failing). She's got a great team, a great car, and the expectations on her to be both attractive and accomplished are a lot more than many of the men have ever had to shoulder. She's got endorsement deals coming out the wazoo, and everybody wants to interview her. So sometimes she comes off as a little cold, but I think it's mostly self-preservation. She really wants to be professional and I think she wants to be considered attractive more than she lets on (otherwise she'd go with shorter hair). But so far I think she's doing really well, and once she gets her first win a lot of people will have to go into their closets, pull out some hats, AND EAT 'EM.

What I loved about watching Dario Franchitti win wasn't jus Ashley Judd running around shrieking with joy while soaking wet but that Tony Kanaan almost leapt across the car to hug his best friend (which, if the first rain delay had stuck, Tony would have been the winner) and even Michael Andretti cracked a smile.

Speaking of the usually dour Michael, he seems to come to the track every year with a new trophy wife. Michael! Skip the bimbos! They just make you seem old and creepy! The one this year was practically gloating. The last one had a tendency to bounce and clap. Ye gods.