Everybody Else Made An End of the Year List...

2006 can take a flying leap out of here.

It was, in a lot of ways, a fully rotten year. So, 2006, don't let the proverbial door hit you in your proverbial ass.

My Pop Culture (and Other Stuff) List of the Year

Best Movie I Saw in 2006
You know, that was tough because I figured out I saw five whole movies in the theater and saw one new release on video. Guess it wasn't a movie year. So I'd have to say Casino Royale, partly because of that kickin chase scene in the beginning (the guy who played the bomber is AMAZING) and because Daniel Craig can look alternately creepily unattractive and full-on sexy. Not too often you run across a guy like that.

Best Book I Read in 2006
This one's a no-brainer. Dick Francis put out Under Orders, and since it brings back Sid Halley, my all-time favorite hero, this tops the list. And Sid ends up happy. I think we can end his saga right there, satisfactorily.

Best New Author I Picked Up in 2006
My family convinced me to read Janet Evanovich, and I've been laughing ever since. Pick up her number series (Stephanie Plum) and answer for me the question: Morelli or Ranger????

Biggest Hassle of 2006
Moving. I hate moving. I only like unpacking when it means decorating. Now I'm at that boring part where I have to figure out what ELSE to get rid of. The guest bedroom still looks like I just hauled all the boxes in. Ugh.

Least Missed Person in 2006
Stephen C Trivers. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Babies of 2006
This is a good one! Rachael and Vivian, welcome!!


What I want for 2007:

On TV
- I want Veronica Mars to get a man worthy of her wit - Logan is one trauma away from a full-on meltdown and Piz is a marshmallow - soft and gooey. And more Wallace. I miss the way he works with Veronica, and the fact that they are such good friends with no hint of a dating relationship, which is realistic.

- I want Lost to get back to the good stuff, including the old Losties like Hurley and Locke, two of my faves. And don't just get rid of Ben yet - he's so creepy I enjoy watching him even while I cringe. And show me more about the hatches and that guy with the eyepatch! Intrigue me! Make me think! Shock me!!

- I want more Rush on Supernatural. And more of that sexy car. And more naughty lines out of Dean's mouth. For my next Hot Man Movie Moment night.

- I want CSI Miami to stop David Caruso's acting tics RIGHT NOW. They used to be endearing. Now they're annoying.

- I want Bones to give Cam something to do so bloggers stop bashing her (I have too much time on my hands). And I want more of Angela's off-the-cuff comments and Hodgins' conspiracy theories. And more of Booth's socks.

- I want more humor on Studio 60. More Aaron Sorkin make-you-think humor. More coconuts through tables. More witty/snide lines from Jordan McDeere. More so-fast-you-have-to-rewind-it dialogue. More references to Brighton!

- I want more stuff to blow up on Mythbusters and more of Adam's maniacal laughter. And anything that will make Jamie giggle (like Mentos and Diet Coke).

- I want Ghost Hunters to find something downright creepy, like the Civil War soldier or the lighthouse ghost. Anything that makes my hair stand on end.

- I want really good shows for people like DB Sweeney, Bradley Cooper (Alias), Mark Valley (Boston Legal is SO not the way to go), and of course Nick Lea - if only I could see it in the States. In fact, anybody from the X-Files back on my TV screen would be welcome.

After I leave I will think of twelve women who I would also like to see get good shows. Give me time. I'll come up with them.

- Ooh, here's one, Aisha Tyler. LOVE HER. Why can she not find a really good show to make use of her wit? She's freakin' hilarious.

- And what about Amber Benson, who was Tara on Buffy? She had a guest spot on Supernatural but that's all I've seen of her.

- Ooh, and Eliza Dushku, who was all sass as Faith. Miss her in that role.

In the Movies
- I want the next Harry Potter to be amazing. Phoenix is a difficult book. I want the movie to really delve into the changes in Harry's life. (Never read it? Call me, I'll loan you Book One.)

- I want the next Pirates of the Caribbean to be a little tighter than the previous one and feature a lot less juvenile behavior. (And more of that lady witch doctor, eh? She was good.)

- I want something at the theater that moves me the way the Lord of the Rings movies did - a fully-realized world that draws you in so completely you feel like someone squeezed the breath out of your chest when its over. Then you find yourself counting the days until it comes out on DVD so you can watch it all over again.

In Books
- I want another Dick Francis novel. If he wants to write it, that is. He's more than earned his retirement, but while he was gone I missed him.

- I want to be blown away by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, but not in a bad way. I want a happy ending for our boy hero, and his friends - and don't kill off any Weasleys! I love that family. And I want to know that JK Rowling will someday revisit this world she's created, because I will be depressed when I finish Book Seven. That's how good she is. Really, people, she's amazing. I want to create like that.

In Sports
- I want a healthy happy retirement for Barbaro. And I want his story and his treatment to save the lives of other racehorses who might otherwise have been euthanized.

- I want a nice quiet retirement for Perfect Drift where he lives out the rest of his days in comfort - preferably somewhere I can go to give him a peppermint.

- I want another racing hero the fans can get behind, like Smarty Jones or my boy Afleet Alex.

- I want another great Tigers season! (Without the ego problems that smacked the Pistons.)

- I want the Lions to finally realize what a colossal mess they're in. Fire Millen. The league should also snap its fingers in William Clay Ford's face and say "Are you awake? Do you care?" If he paid more attention to the team, he could help the state's struggling economy by boosting Detroit economically. But I honestly think someone should put a mirror under his nose just to be sure he's even breathing.

Just Disappear Already
Brangelina, TomKat, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan - PLEASE!! Go somewhere FAR FAR AWAY! And take your lack of underwear/class/brains with you.
Britney amazes me in all the wrong ways. For someone as cute as she can be (and she really can be cute), she usually looks like a tart or trash, and acts like it too. I'm done giving her the benefit of the doubt. And Paris Hilton has three brain cells and they're all focused on making sure she stands in the exact same off-kilter pose in every picture.
Oh, and when you leave, take Mel Gibson with you. I'm SO OVER that guy.

She's Right, You Know
Just to put my two cents in, Rosie O'Donnell was right when she said Donald Trump is a snake-oil salesman. He gives me the creeps. Not that he's not smart, mind you, but come on, you can't tell me he honestly doesn't make you squirm. Maybe it's the hair.
Not that Rosie is always the model of appropriate attitude.

Best Modeling Development of the Year
Fashion houses are now restricting super skinny models on the runway. Hear, hear!!! It's one thing if it's natural, but it's another when it's not, and we can all tell. HIPS. Women have HIPS, people.

That'll do for now. I'll come up with a few more I'm sure. In the meantime, Happy New Year!!!

Why do I love my family?

I love my family for a lot of little things.

I love that we make each other laugh so hard, we cry, or at least give ourselves sore stomachs. It's the worst when my brother and my cousins and I get together, because inevitably someone says something so wrong, it's utterly hilarious. Like when my crazy great-aunt gave my dad and my cousin-in-law black gloves for Christmas, my brother quipped, "I think OJ has a pair just like it."

I love (and occasionally do not love) when old incidents come back to haunt. "Have you shut your ear in a car door lately?" might get the response, "Did you hit yourself in the face with a boot this week?" (Yes, the former happened to me. I was present for the latter but not responsible.)

I love watching the family deal with said great-aunt when she's refusing to leave a tip at a restaurant because she doesn't think she has to, or when she's telling the gas explosion story for the 80th time, or when she straps on the fanny pack to go to Christmas Eve service but won't put in her hearing aid. If ever there is a family bonding moment, it is usually over the requisite black sheep and the fact that social mores and expectations have COMPLETELY passed her by, quite with her assistance.

I love sitting at the kids' table, even though I'm almost 34, listening to the guys dissect the stuffing. (I love that my cousin-in-law has started to really show his 'silly side' now that he knows us better, because he's hilarious.)

I love being at the age where somebody will slip a little bottle of Absolut Rasberri in my stocking.

I love sitting around the table playing Apples to Apples with every generation, although the baby (at age 2) has no idea what's going on, but when you ask her who's cute, she points to herself - and her sassy new pink cowboy boots.

I love how the baby turns my uncle into a big teddy bear. I love being Aunt LaLa, even if I don't always know what to say to her.

I love that nobody pressures me to get married or have kids, although my grandmother once wondered what I would offer a nice young man when I got married, if I couldn't cook.

I love playing games. We love board games and card games and Numerica (a number order game, at which I suck mightily, but I more than make up for that at Buzz Word). The day after Christmas is almost exclusively reserved for board games and snacks like puppy chow and caramel corn and cookies.

I love how we buy Christmas gifts for each other's pets.

I love how we take zillions of pictures and then mail them to each other throughout January. Actually, we do this all year long. If there's a family event, expect a camera. There is no 'shy' with the family.

I love how we welcome new people in with open arms, including significant others. We have been known to overwhelm new family members, especially at Christmas, with our all-day present opening tradition. More than once I've heard a departing spouse or fiance(e) say as they leave for their parents' house, "I want to stay here, you guys are so much fun!"

Well, yes, yes we are. Black sheep included.

Nerves Nerves Nerves

Ah, let me count the way the stress is pounding me.

First of all, it's the holidays. And that means trying to get all the Christmas cards written and mailed (after, of course, the Christmas letter gets written and printed); buying all the appropriate gifts for almost 20 people - friends and family - and wrapping them; negotiating stores, parking lots, roads and everything else that's insane; going to parties; making food; and protecting everything I already bought from theft.

Second of all, it's also winter. Not that we've had much to complain about so far, but whenever there's bad weather, my blood pressure goes through the roof. I slid down the icy stairs outside the office a few weeks ago - I wasn't hurt, just sore afterward, but that was upsetting and whenever the weather is bad, I'm on edge.

Third of all, in case you didn't hear about my little incident the other week, a thug stole my bag in my apartment complex parking lot. So now I'm stressed out whenever I go to and from my car, in a relatively safe neighborhood. And I'm stressed going to and from my car at work, which is a several-minute walk. And all this takes place in the dark. And whenever I go to a store, I find myself clutching my purse just that much tighter whenever a young man comes near me, regardless of color or age or clothing type. I leave the store with adrenaline rushing through me, sometimes with a headache from clenching my teeth. I suspect every young man I see, just about anywhere. (Sorry guys, but there it is.)

Fourth of all, it's the sickness season. I am getting over a rotten cold, and I just found out that a large chunk of my family is recovering from what appears to be a norovirus. Yes, those nasty stomach flu bugs you hear about on cruise ships (sometimes mistaken for food poisoning). Our local Applebee's closed down a few weeks ago - TWICE - because of the bug. The last time I had it I was sick as a dog for about 24 hours. (I loathe throwing up. I dread it. I do anything I can to avoid it.) They say you're only ill for 24-48 hours but I can tell you that's the longest day of your life. This is coming from someone with terrible acid reflux, so I feel rotten a lot. I really don't think in the grand scheme of things I should have to suffer stomach flu on top of it, all things considered.

The experts say you should avoid preparing food for three days after you feel better. Um, guess who will be making food to bring to our family Christmas in a WEEK??? I'm trying to figure out how to ask nicely that they wait to make something. I'm TERRIFIED of getting sick after Christmas, like I did a few years ago. Well, I'm terrified of getting that kind of sickness - I'll take almost anything else over stomach flu - and I'm about to pull a Michael Jackson and buy a breathing mask for the Christmas festivities. My mom already had a bout of influenza, and she's hosting. Oh boy, I am going to cart around an antimicrobial hand solution. Something that kills viruses and bacteria. And I'm going to wash my hands even more than I do now. ANYTHING to avoid getting sick.

I'm trying to get plenty of sleep, eat well, and like I said, wash my hands. I'm afraid my nerves will make me more vulnerable to a bug, but I don't know how to settle them. I'm thinking I'll probably take New Year's Day or the day after and just SIT. On my butt. In front of the TV.

If I'm well.

Today I learned that Kalamazoo has one thing Lansing doesn't.

Salt.

I took a fine header (or would that be 'butter') down some steps outside the office today, because apparently either the city of Lansing or the state of Michigan doesn't think it's a good idea to salt the walks AFTER THERE'S BEEN AN ICE STORM.

I didn't see a damn grain anywhere. And I wasn't skipping merrily down the walk. I was watching every step very very carefully. In fact, I nearly slipped going to and from work several more times today. (And the worst part is it was one of those days where I kept getting everything wrong. This was the icing on the proverbial cake.)

I'm fine, sore but otherwise fine. A nice man stopped to see if I was okay and helped me down the rest of the stairs. Oddly enough, what always happens to me after I've nearly been hurt and someone is nice to me is I want to burst into tears, even though there was nothing wrong with me (which I learned after a brief inventory - it's hard to tell if you're hurt immediately sometimes). Dunno why that is.

But anyway. By the time I got home it was too late to call and yell at anybody because it was after business hours on a Friday. And I should have called my office mates to warn them, but by that time they had already gone home. So come Monday I'm going to have to find out what the hell they were thinking. Or revel in somebody's lawsuit. Because somebody's gettin' an earful.