Movie Review: Wall E

A cartoon should be goofy, larger than life, and full of chattery characters, right? The latest Pixar creation, Wall E, is none of these, and yet it's a deeply enjoyable layered ride.

You could subtitle this film "Robots In Love". There's a lot I don't want to say about the plot so that you're not spoiled, but I can tell you this: Wall E - Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class - appears to be the lone occupant of a wasted planet. Like a good worker, he takes his lunch cooler out to the piles and mounds of trash, and accompanied by his cockroach friend, uses his compactor insides to crush the trash into usable cubes. From there he builds skyscrapers of junk. He also keeps some of the treasures he finds - rubber duckies, light bulbs, a spork - and he happily cannibalizes other Wall Es that have stopped working to supplement his parts. He hardly makes any noises, but you understand him perfectly. The dialogue comes solely from a videotape of 'Hello Dolly' that Wall E is fascinated with.

Suffice it to say he meets other robots and has adventures. That may sound simplistic - on one level the story really is very simple - but it's better for you to come into the story like Wall E goes through his life and his adventures - with a sense of newness and wonder.

Wall E's beginnings on the wasted planet are drawn so intricately, with such detail, that you forget you're watching a cartoon. Wall E has so many human traits and movements (and occasionally he mimics a turtle, to funny effect) that you quickly pick up on the fact that he's just no ordinary robot. It may seem slow to the kiddies, but it takes its time to tell its story, while it gives you a chance to absorb Wall E's world and feel for him as strongly as if he was human.

The first half of the film is based on this home planet (our home planet as a matter of fact), and it feels incredibly different than any other Pixar film. It's quiet, introspective, detailed, calm, and funny. You will find yourself laughing at the robot pratfalls as though you'd never seen them before. You'll wince when he hits his head, 'aw' at his attempts to dance, feel sad with him when he feels alone.

The second half of the film is more typically Pixar - the action picks up and there is actual dialogue, but it's no less funny. Without spoiling too much, I can tell you that Fred Willard plays the President (yes, real live people in a Pixar film!), consumerism has taken over the world, and we've gotten so attached to our video screens that we forget everything else. I'll leave all the details out - you need to see it for yourself. I can say, however, that the adage about the eyes being the window to the soul is absolutely true, and a pair of blue eyes in this film tell us so much that I was just amazed at what we're able to learn from this simple device.

And this is one of those movies where there's a lot going on in the background, so I need to see it again to see everything I might have missed. So much is happening in the second half of the film that there are probably a ton of inside jokes and funny moments happening behind the action, and you'll only catch them on future viewings. That said, the kids will like the second half of the movie better, while adults will adore the first half. But everybody will go home happy.

This movie is proceeded by a hilarious short, 'Presto' that left me laughing so hard I was in tears. Just remember to feed your rabbit.

Animals: That cockroach is well-nigh indestructible, but no animals are harmed in the film. And after the movie's over, you'll feel like getting out to walk the dog, run a marathon, anything other than sit in front of a screen.

Overall: This introspective film with the eco-sensitive bent is gorgeous and makes you want to consider hugging your toaster. I give it four roses out of five.

Durned If You Do...

So let me get this straight. You are horrified by the high gas prices you're seeing every time you pass the local Citgo. So you make a few changes. You buy a more fuel-efficient vehicle, maybe even a hybrid. And then you cut back on your driving - you make all your trips at one time, you carpool to the office, you decide not to take a summer vacation. You even drive slower so you're not burning as much fuel. It's all to save your family money.

After a winter of driving over more potholes than you'd expect to see craters on the moon, you know MDOT and other road fixing folks get 19 cents per every gallon of gas sold - it's tax money. And you also know they rely on that money to fix the roads and bridges, because Michigan gets 92 cents of every dollar it sends to Washington, back for road repair and similar projects, making Michigan a 'donor state.'

Then you hear MDOT and friends say say, Gee, we're not getting nearly as much money from drivers because they're driving less and driving hybrids or more fuel-efficient cars, so they're not buying as much gasoline, and that means less gas tax money for us. But we really need money to fix those roads, otherwise you're going to run the risk of the Minnesota bridge disaster. So we need you to raise the tax on a gallon of gasoline to 28 cents on the gallon or more.

This article lays out all the facts and figures pretty well.
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080612/METRO05/806120380

Without doing a lot of fancy math, aren't you pretty much screwed either way?? You make the effort to be a more responsible citizen behind the wheel to save yourself money, and in the end, you're still going to pay out of pocket when gas prices go up yet again - only this time, it's tax money to pay for crumbling roads, which could be better funded by the federal government, if it would give Michigan a dollar in road money for every dollar it sends to Washington (and no, I don't really get how that works either). In short, no matter what you do to save money, it's going to be wrestled out of your pockets one way or another.

Does this make even the LEAST bit of sense to anyone else??

No Bridezillas Here

Since it's wedding month, I've been reading a lot online about crazed brides who insisted their bridesmaids buy $500 dresses, spend a fortune on shower gifts at multiple showers they're required to attend, and even dye their hair the same color as the bride's. One even kicked one gal off her wedding party (after she bought a $300 dress on a student budget) because she suggested a less-expensive bachelorette party package in Vegas. The bride said she wasn't 'dedicated enough to the wedding.'

Thank God I have never had to deal with a Bridezilla.

I've been in four weddings, and am getting ready for a fifth, and I have been lucky not only to have worn five beautiful dresses (no lie!), but to have dealt with five great brides. No bride has ever complained about what I did or didn't do for her. No bride has flipped out, lost her temper, or made unreasonable demands. One bride did have a minor meltdown during photography over her too-tight shoes, but that was quickly remedied by a pair of specially-decorated Keds, courtesy of her quick-thinking sister-in-law. I can't imagine I would be as calm as any of these women.

And I count my blessings every time I hear about a bride-gone-crazy financially. All five brides have been remarkably laid back, open to ideas, and willing to hear what my budget was, and thus willing to work with it. I've never felt pressured to spend money I didn't have, go somewhere I couldn't afford or do something completely unreasonable (the hair-dyeing counts). I just stated what I could and couldn't afford (politely, I mean) and they've all been willing to work with me.

And honestly, if I had been confronted with those demands, I would simply back out of the wedding party. Why do these gals put up with this kind of stuff from their 'friends' without speaking up? And why would a bride ever treat her friends like that anyway? I know it's 'her day' but that doesn't entitle her to become a raving bitch who has to be the center of attention for everything. Seriously, Disney may promote princesses, but grown women should have a little more perspective.

Yet some women get so caught up in the idea of it being all about them for not just one day but the entire run up to the big day (forgetting about the marriage in the process of planning for the wedding), that they ruin friendships in the process with their outrageous demands.

Is a poofy white dress really worth all that? I don't think so.

'Not Catching the Bouquet' Good

Can we start a new wedding reception rule? If you're 35 or over and still single, you do not have to stand up for the bouquet toss. No wildly amused family member or mischievous friend can drag you out to stand among the 17-year-olds in their sky-high pumps and short skirts to grab for a bedraggled bouquet that nobody actually really wants to catch. If you find out that's what's coming up next, you can - with your dignity perfectly intact - leave the dance floor, and hide in the bathroom if necessary without the DJ heckling you or sending the seven-year-old flower girl to peer under the door of your stall to pull you out of there.

Why is this rite of passage so entertaining for older married members of the crowd? Why do they think this is FUN? They cheer and clap as you're being dragged - and I mean physically dragged - onto the dance floor. They will actually put hands on you to shove you out there, even if you profess offense. Brides think this is hilarious. They're secretly thinking, "I don't have to do this anymore! But you do!"

You know what it says? LOSER. It says YOU SUCK. It says YOU SLEEP ALONE AND WE'RE RUBBING IT IN. So the fact that everybody else thinks it's HIGH-larious to force you to stand out on the dance floor behind the bridesmaids when you could easily have given birth to them is humiliating on a grand scale.

If you're in the wedding party, I get that that's part of the protocol. That, I wearily accept. But when you're the only bridesmaid still single, that adds to the humiliation. But there are means of coping. I've taken to standing behind somebody really tall who seems eager to catch the bouquet, even if it means some frightened lad or very drunk groomsman is later going to stuff the garter up her dress. I figure I might show my support for the bride by standing there in my bridesmaid dress, but I refuse to leap for the flowers.

But I've had about enough of this gross humiliation. I'm already the only singleton in the family and as time goes on, my friends quickly succumb too. Sooner or later their kids will be getting hitched, and I'll still be out there. So I'm taking action, and it isn't going to be pretty. I'm quickly getting to the point where I'm going to start telling people to shove the taffeta-wrapped, wilted-rose-and-baby's-breath concoction far up their asses, if they try to herd me onto the dance floor with kids half my age to catch a reminder of loneliness.