Stacey and Clinton's Winter Nightmare

Here's the scenario:

The temperature is 14 degrees, but the windchill puts it below zero. When I get ready to leave work at the end of the day, I start by taking off my stylish pointy-toed high-heeled boots. I put on a pair of old warmup pants that are essentially plastic to keep the snow and salt off my good pants, since, if we've gotten several inches of snow, I may have to dig out my car just to get home. I then pull on a pair of dark brown Wal-Mart work-style lug sole boots to keep my footing in the ice and snow, since Michigan's financial crisis means things like parking lots and sidewalks may be quickly plowed down to the ice or not plowed at all, and almost certainly not salted every day.

Over my nice suit jacket and shirt I wrap a fuzzy pink scarf, then I pull on a faded black hooded zip up sweatshirt (it has paint on one elbow) because my very cute and stylish black wool peacoat does not keep me warm enough to get from my car to the office and back again. When the wind blows I pull up the hood, so that I look a bit like a very short mugger.

After I pull on the peacoat (which needs its buttons sewn back on and will need replacement next year because it's fraying at the cuffs and the pockets are starting to tear) I tug on a black fitted knit cap that I call my cat burglar hat; it's the warmest hat I own. (Or maybe it's an oversized cream colored knit monstrosity that goes well over a ponytail or hair clip. My noodle is too round for many hats, I've learned.) Then I pull on a pair of battered black leather gloves that need replacing but I just haven't gotten around to doing it.

Mom and I were shopping recently and she looked at some gauzy top and said, "This wasn't made for people in Michigan." And she's right. A lot of the clothes that keep you warm aren't pretty, and a lot of the clothes that are cute simply are not practical for a Michigan winter. If I could park closer to work, great, but that's more money than I can afford. So I smiled at one episode of What Not to Wear when a Chicago lawyer defended her humongous coat and turtlenecks by saying, "It's cold." It is. Kitten heels are swell, but once you're up to your calf in snow, you've ruined them anyway and put yourself at risk for frostbite. Might as well toss them in your bag and save the leather - and your toes.

So until I win the lottery I'm going to look like I just might be homeless. But at least I'll be warm.

Fresh Air

A couple of weeks ago we had a weather warmup - the kind where the ground starts to thaw and the air starts to smell like earth and just the faintest bit green. It was heavenly - I think I even opened the door to the balcony, just to get some fresh air, even though it was really too chilly still for that.

And then of course we plunged back into the cold; it's been snowing the beat the band - usually the day when I have to hop in the car and head somewhere more than a half hour from home. We haven't had any more blizzards, per se, but I'm certainly ready for spring. All the more so because getting bundled up in my coat with scarf and hat is starting to feel confining, and I'm ready to wear lighter layers.

Maybe soon.