I Just Don't Get It - What Women See In...

John Mayer - Some of his music is pretty good. I have "Bigger Than My Body" and "Why Georgia" on my iPod. He's a pretty good guitar player. And you could say he's not unattractive, even though he doesn't do much for me. But why do celebrity women just flock to this guy? (They did it to dreadlocked Adam Duritz of Counting Crows once upon a time too. I didn't get that either.) He's a serial dater. Are they really expecting anything more than to be serially dated??

Adam Levine - I have nothing against Maroon 5 either. I love several of their songs. But what's the big deal with this guy? Again, not unattractive, but he seems in his videos to have the personality of a stick. Watch "If I Never See Your Face Again" with Rihanna. She fairly smokes off the screen. She's sassy and sexy (and I'm straight and I say this). He looks like he'd rather be home washing his socks.

Zac Efron - This is merely a product of my age. He's cute, with those big dimples and that sweet smile. I want to pat him on the head and tell him, no, he can't have the car keys and he's too young to shave.

Hugh Hefner - One of his girlfriends broke up with him because (so the story goes anyway) they would never get married and have kids. Um, sweetie? Whatever makes you think this guy is going to marry??? He's Hugh Hefner. Come on! Now I'm sure there's a LOT more to the story than what we're getting in the media, and I know they're getting a lot of exposure being one of his girlfriends, but expecting the smoking-jacket-wearing founder of Playboy is going to marry you and settle down is, to say the least, delusional.
Plus he's old and creepy.

Who am I missing?

I Just Don't Get It - Anime

Welcome to the first installment of "I Just Don't Get It" - where I freely admit that I just don't see what other people in a certain item, be it reality television, snub-toed pumps or Honda Element SUVs (which I have dubbed, 'The Element of Ugly').

Today's subject is Anime. I know this form of Japanese animation has devoted followers, who can talk endlessly about the joys of Sailor Moon (sorry, it's the only one I know). They love the detail, the expression, the style.

I find it creepy.

Anime, in my limited experience, tends to be bloody and graphic. I'm watching the segments of The Animatrix, which features robots tearing apart human soldiers. This is supposed to be essential viewing for the Matrix fan, but even in the parts where nobody dies, there's always blood. I get that it's the leadup to the movies and explains how the machines subjugated the humans, but do I have to hear the screaming?

It also tends to feature emaciated or bug-eyed girls wearing revealing clothing, yet looking just-this-side of jailbait. Childish, yet heavily sexualized, in little panties and barely-there tops, but with wide eyes and pointed chins, faces unlined. I understand what men might see in a Wonder Woman or some other comic book heroine - she at least looks old enough to vote. (Even if, let's face it, no crime fighter would RUN in thigh-high stilettos with Double-Ds bouncing in the breeze and supported by only the most meager of fabric. Come on. That HURTS. )

I do agree that sometimes the animation is quite detailed and in its own way reflecting of realism. I also realize that there are different kinds of anime - at least from my limited experience - some more childlike cartoonish, others with humans drawn to look like real actual people. And some of these Animatrix shorts feature some great music. And I'm willing to say, if you're a big fan and want to explain to me the lure of this grown-up animation, I'm all ears.

But I think when it comes down to it, I want my cartoons to be innocent, childlike and not quite real - and blood-free.

I think I should just stick to Scooby-Doo.