The Art of the RSVP

When you see an invitation on paper or in your email (or an Evite) that requests that you RSVP, what do you generally do?

Most people I know will write or call to say yes or no, they're in or not. But I know a few people who don't bother to get back to me at all. So let me refresh everyone on the art of the RSVP.

It's French for "Respondez-vous, s'il vous plait" or 'respond, if you please'. That means if you can attend or cannot attend, you should let somebody know. Don't just respond only if you can make it, and for heaven's sake, don't ignore the invitation until you find out for sure if you have something better to do that weekend. (I know of one person I suspect of doing that.)

And don't ignore the invitation altogether - not hearing from you at all is just rude. After a while, I stop inviting people who don't bother to communicate or who never come to anything. It's the same with Christmas and birthday cards. If I send you a card several times and get nothing back, I stop sending you cards. And I'm sure you do the same!

RSVP a 'maybe' if the 'maybe' reason is worth mentioning ("my grandfather could be coming home from the hospital that day" or "I could be having kidney surgery that afternoon") or if you'd like a spot reserved for you for a short time while you double check your calendar, but not if you have to find out for sure if you have to wash your hair or bathe the cat. Granted, this is coming from a person who sometimes says "I may have committed to something else that day and have to double check" (because I'm forgetful, and I know it) but I only say that when invited to something in person or over the phone (never when invited to something in writing, unless I'm asked whether I'm coming before I have a chance to respond and/or determine what that nagging thought at the back of my head might be). When I call you or email you to RSVP I generally know for sure if I can come or not.

"RSVP Regrets Only" assumes you're coming unless you call to say "I can't make it".

The RSVP is there so the host or hostess knows how much food to buy, chairs to put out, seats to reserve at the restaurant, tickets to buy, bowling lanes to reserve, etc. So RSVPing at the last minute doesn't help in that regard, unless it's super-casual. Just to be clear, I'm talking here about any event that would require an RSVP, (such as my upcoming moving day, or the WMU Homecoming gathering) not the general Thursday Night Fairfield Beers-type get-together.

I don't know if that helps, but there you go. One person's thoughts on the RSVP! Anybody else? I'd love to hear your experiences or your thoughts on it. Am I being too Miss Manners? Not fussy enough? Weigh in!!