Sudden Best Friend Phenomenon

Over the last year, I've had two experiences I've termed "Sudden Best Friend Phenomenon," and they strike me as so weird, they should have become an episode of a tv show like Sex and the City. Here's what happened to me the first time.

A couple of years ago a guy I worked with brought his girlfriend to the unofficial office Christmas party. I talked to the guy and his girlfriend for a while as I mixed with the crowd, and she and I apparently chatted about horses. After that she dropped by the office a couple of times and if I happened to be up front near the reception desk I would say hi, but that was the extent of it. (I always try hard to be nice to significant others of friends, family and coworkers so they feel comfortable, and as you all know, I can talk the ear off a marble Shakespeare bust. But I don't do more than polite and chatty conversation.)

Fast forward to earlier this year. I get an email from this woman saying she's back in Michigan . (She and the coworker have since broken up and she had moved out of state for several years.) She asks if I remember her and I write back to say I do, and politely ask how things are going.

That's apparently the wrong thing to do because she sends me emails saying she wants to hang out. Now remember, I had one real conversation with her several years ago and probably couldn't pick her out of a police lineup. Now, those of you who know me well know I take a long time to get to know people - I'm friendly but cautious. So some strange woman wanting to hang out with me is a little odd in my opinion. I chat with her a few more times over email but gently rebuff her, the way I would with a date who is 4'11" and hygienically challenged. I don't hear from her for a while but then I get this long group email telling everyone she knows how her cat has died.

I like cats as much as the next person, and I'm sorry to hear this, but I never met the damn cat. Her ex tells me she's not a stalker and doesn't know too many people in town now, but I don't respond to her message regardless, and I don't hear from her again.

Second incident. I am at the Mixer on the Mall in early June when I overhear a woman looking for a former co-worker. I stop to say the co-worker was planning to be at the Mixer as I'd talked to her earlier, and immediately this woman, who is in her mid-40s probably and very gregarious, stops and chats like we're old friends. I immediately see my kind gesture probably was a bad idea, but after a few minutes she's convinced me to give her my business card, and then I'm able to skedaddle.

Cut to today. The phone rings and it's this woman. I talked to her a month and a half ago and had forgotten all about her. She calls to invite me to a party tonight and tell me she hasn't called because she's been out of town. Um, I have something to do tonight, but perhaps I'll run into her at the Mixer tomorrow, I say. Suddenly, it's a date, and she wants to meet me specifically at a certain time and place. I have talked to her for a total of five whole minutes. I tell her I'm already meeting people at the Mixer but perhaps we'll run into each other, and then I get off the phone.

Why can't cute normal men be like this? Why is this just lonely women older than me? Do I show up on lesbian-dar? I don't think either of these women were hitting on me. (Sorry Mike, I know that ruins your whole mental image.) I'm clearly not the most socially adept person in the world (as you all know) but this strikes me as just a little peculiar. Why suddenly am I at the top of their social food chain? Because if I am, their social food chain is full of those dates I rebuff, apparently, and that is a sad sad thing.

Horse racing tip of the day: I finally caught up on the last several weekends of horse racing and watched Lava Man nearly get beat in the Classic division by a horse I'd never heard of (Ace Blue I think it was). If you're watching the Classic division, keep an eye out for names familiar to you from the Triple Crown, like Bernardini and Jazil. They could make the BC Classic (Nov 4) tough on those top older horses.